


heart, keep haunting me

by glitchking



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, F/F, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-10
Updated: 2019-05-14
Packaged: 2019-11-14 17:31:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 26,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18056975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glitchking/pseuds/glitchking
Summary: Our Brightguard are the ones sworn to protect the royal families with their life. Recruits from off the streets cannot and will not be trusted with such a task.Catra enlists to Bright Moon's military for a chance to change the life she thinks she's destined to lead. Adora becomes the legendary warrior and has to choose between fate and love.





	1. Chapter 1

The streets of lower Bright Moon were far worse off than the nobles would have people believe. There was no doubt that they thought their beliefs were true, but most of them had never bothered to step foot into the lower ring to confirm. After living such a tailored to and nearly sheltered life in the upper ring, who would make the effort?

In the upper ring, tall and extravagant buildings littered the landscape. White stone nearly glittered in when the sun hit it just so, and intricate marble or carved designs on the trim made each building stand out one from the other. Uniform, yet independent. It was a beautiful sight to behold, even from the lower rings. Most of the population never had a chance to see it up close, but many liked to watch the lights and festivities that they could from afar.

The lower ring, however, was in direct contrast. Instead of beautiful materials and designs, most buildings were in disrepair and patched together with what wood could be scavenged from the forest in the surrounding areas. The beautiful white stone of the upper ring was once used here but began to crumble and fall apart after little to no maintenance. Most homes could be found in this area, cramped together so that even the crevices and alleys were unclean. Many a time, drunks could be found tucked away after a bender curled up and sleeping the day away in these alleys.

The middle ring, by comparison, was neither the plethora of filth that the lower ring had to offer and certainly not the picture of wealth. However, most of the ring in this area was inhabited by the shopping district and the large, winding marketplace that wrapped around the city. Smells of fruit and smoked meats ran rampant in the food district, while the scent of dyed cloth and tanned leather could be found just around the bend. Many citizens didn’t actually live there, unless they were living above their shops or able to afford the higher living cost than the lower ring.

Of the three, Catra lived in the middle ring for most of her life, though did spend some time in the lower before her parents died. After their death, she was sent to one of the orphanages in the middle ring and grew up mostly surrounded by the culture of merchants and thieves rather than drunkards and too-tired parents trying to push through until their next meal. The matron of the orphanage fell somewhere in between too-strict and too-lenient, and definitely had her preferences in child, though she did her best to manage the attitudes of all the children there.

Due to the area and far less than accessible healthcare, many of the children were sickly and often, she was just to provide a bed for them until they passed. Bright Moon was not the shining standard of any civilization, not by a long shot.

Catra had never been the most behaved child, often getting into trouble for stealing things from the market vendors or pushing the other children around. She always wanted to make herself known, even if it was the worst kind of attention she was getting. But there was a duality to her that the matron didn’t expect. Even just after pushing one of the other children, Kyle, into the mud and laughing about it even when scolding, she still came rushing to his aid when he contracted the deadly virus not a week later. Before the sickness took hold, she had even been smearing the grime on his face and clothes. After, she was right at his bedside, fetching water and clean rags whenever she was told to do so.

The matron seemed to believe that’s just the way Catra had learned to show affection over the years. That or she was only following her base instincts of the type of cat-human she was. Either way, she was never outright cruel to the others, and often ran to their aid when it was dire or someone else had harmed them.

During that week of Kyle’s sickness, Catra’s help seemed to be the only thing that kept Kyle clinging to his sanity and life. She made him laugh until he’d cough, and would hold his hand and purr softly to help him get a good night’s rest. The doctor, though unable to come right away, swore to the matron that it was her that helped him fight a disease that could have taken yet another child from their city. Kyle even went so far as to fully believe it was Catra and not the bitter tasting medicine he was forced to endure once it was finally available.

She didn’t really enjoy him following her around too much after that, but there were no complaints.

Not much changed as she got older. Her harsh attitude never faltered, and instead she seemed to rely more heavily on sarcasm rather than physical pushing around. She did have quite the number of notches in her belt from the people she’d bullied on the playground and then became somewhat close with once they realized it was just a ruse and something to protect herself preemptively. Kyle, however, was the only one that she actually became close enough with to call a best friend. Catra wouldn’t ever admit as much out loud, but it was true. He was a constant in her life that she hadn’t had before then.

A few nights before Catra’s eighteenth, which marked the day she could finally legally leave the orphanage and pursue whatever life she wanted to lead, she and Kyle sat on the roof, watching the lights from the upper ring. Apparently, there was some sort of festival beginning, and though she couldn’t quite keep track of their parties and festivities, this one seemed to be a little more extravagant and jovial than the others.

The large keep in the direct center of the ring seemed to glow in the moonlight, far more than it usually did. Soft sparkling lights near the top illuminated the stone and marble inlays in a way that was almost breathtaking. That, she did know the meaning of, though not the cause. The soft purple sparkling lights hung like a sheer sheet expanding over the top of the tower outward and it meant that there were other kingdoms coming in to celebrate whatever this was.

Once she thought about it and measured up the days until her birthday, she remembered that it was one of their formal balls or galas or something of the like, though this one seemed to still be a bit more than the others. Royal traditions didn’t matter much to her and it’s not like she’d ever need to learn them.

She was watching the stars mostly, and the way the purplish hues seemed to bounce up into the sky. Kyle, though, seemed to be glued to the way the stone seemed to shimmer and shift with each breeze that wafted through. Catra knew that he’d dreamed of living there and moving up somehow for years. No one had the heart to tell him that it was impossible. No one ever moved up. Only down.

With a silent huff, she looked back up to the stars and it was Kyle that broke the silence. “You know, Catra. I bet we could get up there. There’s always a way.”

It took everything in her to not roll her eyes. “Sure, we steal something and get sent to the dungeon under the castle.” She tried not to make her tone as deadpan as she wanted and failed.

“No, no. Seriously. I heard some of the older guys talking about enlisting. Military or guard. You never know. Could at least get stationed at the gate. And the barracks are just outside of the upper ring.”

Even as he spoke, there was a sort of wistful tone layering into his words. Unable to take that sort of hope and let herself believe it, she shoved at his shoulder. “Sure, I guess. But you can’t fight worth shit. What are you going to do, squeal an’ run away during training?”

True to form, he lost his balance and let out a yelp that only confirmed her teasing. Scrambling up, he just kept on, “No! I just mean--- Well, it’d be better than being stuck here or in the lower ring, wouldn’t it?”

“Yeah, suppose so.”

“You should go enlist next week, then! And I can join you in a few months. Inseparable!”

Her nose wrinkled, “Doesn’t that require actually caring about what happens to the kingdom?”

“Oh. Yeah, I guess. But it’s gotta be better. I mean, you get a bed and three meals if you’re a guard. That’s loads more worth it than just giving up.”

Catra found that she could only hum in response and watch the lights once more. They swirled and changed against the white stone. It would be better. He was absolutely right. In the long run, at the very least. And if she was good, there were definitely added benefits. It was an easy out. But Kyle.. could he handle that?

It was a few more minutes before either of them spoke again, though not about the possibility of enlisting. Kyle knew better than to push his grandiose ideas and he knew that if she considered it, she’d tell him at some point. Reaching up, Catra flicked at Kyle’s ear to get his attention from what they were both sure was a dazzling display of the other princess’ powers.

“So, dumbass. What are you gonna do for my birthday?”

His reaction was nothing short of amusing, covering his ear and yelping once more. Catra only laughed at him while she waited. Whatever happened next, she was going to miss this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is mainly here as a set up, to establish the city and this version of catra. hope you all enjoy where it goes from here!


	2. Chapter 2

The rest of that night went by as it usually did, conversation and teasing her friend mercilessly. He didn't seem to have complaints, though he usually did. It was as if he knew what was coming next, when she had no idea herself. When she lay in her bunk that night, she found herself just staring up at the ceiling and wondering exactly how she would continue on. Before Kyle had brought it up, joining Bright Moon's military had been the last thing on her mind. She knew it was an option, of course. Plenty of the other orphans had gone straight into the guard to find some semblance of belonging. Catra wasn’t planning on it. She had been planning to take what little she had and move down to the lower ring, apprentice to some joke of an artisan and find her way there. 

But now? Thinking back on it, though, the military wasn't a bad move. She had spent most of her life in scraps, fighting in some way or another. Pushing people down, standing up for herself. It wasn't that different, right? Just a hell of a lot more discipline than she was used to. 

It would give her a purpose. Something to strive for. And if she was good, if she made it far, then they'd give her the recognition she so desired. At the orphanage and roaming the streets of the districts, she used to do anything that would garner her some attention, be it positive or not. Someone seeing her —  _ really seeing her _ — might do her some good. 

Sleep didn't come easily. She found herself trying to weigh the pros versus the cons of selling away her body for a cause she wasn't sure she believed in. But in the end, the treaty with The Horde was solid, which meant that she might end up just being a Gatekeeper at the end of it all anyways. A few months of training with solid meals and a nice bed to sleep in didn't seem like that bad of a trade, all in all. She didn't have any misconceptions that she'd be much higher up, but still. Kyle was a dreamer. And in their world? It was nice to dream. 

Before she knew it, her eyes were closing and it seemed like only seconds before the sun filtered in through the dust-covered glass. Any other day she might have lay in her bunk as long as possible to savor the last moments of rest, stretch out her muscles and take as long as she could before getting started on her chores. Not that day, though. That day she was up before most of the other orphans and slipping out of bed. She did take the time to stretch once she was on the floor, putting her hands out in front of her and letting her back creak and pop with the effort. 

The things she actually owned only consisted of a headpiece left by her parents, which she affixed on carefully, a few bits of change ( which she left ), and a change of clothes. The other clothes she wore were provided by the orphanage themselves, so she left everything but the extra set sitting on her bunk. 

Once she was dressed, she padded along the halls to find the boy's wing and found Kyle, shaking him awake with a hand covering his mouth. He didn't make a noise like she assumed he would and instead only sat up, rubbing at his eyes sleepily. She crouched low enough so they would be eye to eye while he was still halfway laying down and gave him an easy smile. 

"I'm gonna do it." 

He only gave her a confused expression, still too asleep to comprehend what she was saying or remember their conversation from the night before. 

Rolling her eyes, Catra continued. "I'm going to enlist. Right now." 

His eyes widened before she even finished speaking and he made a gesture like he wanted to yell and flail in her general direction but was able to keep it in except for a wide grin stretching at his face. He really looked like he might explode. Only a few months, he'd said the night before. A few months and they could be guards together. 

She smirked and punched at his shoulder softer than usual. "Don't miss me too much, okay? I'll see you not that long from now in the barracks."

He only grinned and lunged at her, arms wrapping around her shoulders and pulling her into the tightest ( and only ) hug she'd ever had. Shocked by the outburst, she hesitated while he shook. After a moment, she rested her hand on his back in an awkward return of affection. When he pulled back, she reached out and ruffled his already messy hair. 

"I'll see you soon, Catra." His voice wavered a bit with the words.

If she left immediately, she didn't have to acknowledge the tears in his eyes. Instead she softened her smirk into a more genuine smile. "See ya soon." 

It wasn't as if she was going to get kicked out of the orphanage immediately if she didn't leave right away, it's just she hated the awful goodbye rituals they had. Hugging and tears for people that they didn't care for before that day. It was stupid, at the very least, and she was tired and ready to be her own person. 

This early in the morning, the only people out were people migrating towards the marketplace to get ready to sell their wares for the day. Less hustle and bustle and more of a relaxed pace as they were just getting the final touches done. Some of the precooked food and fires just getting started made her mouth water and wish she'd took that change with for at least a morsel of the roasted breakfast sausages, but pushed forward with her head held high. 

Some of the merchants gave her questioning looks as she walked past and towards the Gate for the upper ring, but no one stopped or questioned it. It made her grow bolder with each passing step. Every step against the cobblestone streets, every moment closer and closer, she knew that this was what she was meant to be doing. It was a weird, but welcome sensation to think she was chasing her destiny. She tried to keep her chest puffed out and her confidence showed in her walk, even as she approached the border of the upper ring.

A hand on her chest stopped her and pushed her backwards. "You know the rules."

Her fur bristled at the touch and the words. But she realized that if she tried to fight or push past the only destiny she'd surrender to was one in the dungeons. Straightening up and brushing herself off, she kept her chin high. 

"I'm here to enlist into the guard. The barracks are in the upper ring, yeah? So that's where I need to go. Right?" There was no hesitation in her words and her determination made the guard pause and sigh down at her. 

The gruff voice softened as they spoke again. "You have to go around through the middle entrance to get there first. You can't go straight in through here." They jerked a thumb back towards the right. "It's just a few blocks that way and the guard at the entrance will let you in.”

She didn't move immediately, staring up at them to try and make sense of them. The guardspeople weren't known for being hostile or friendly, but the outright helpfulness of this one threw her a little. Eventually, she gave a short nod and turned to go towards exactly where she was pointed. After a few blocks of walking, Catra wondered if the guardperson actually was trying to be helpful or playing a funny prank on a lowringer. Her doubts were dashed away almost immediately when she turned the corner and saw the building in question. 

The confidence she had before seemed to melt away almost instantly as she saw the two guards standing at the entrance and talking to another recruit. The final steps up were the hardest, feeling as if she were trudging through molasses on a winter's day to get there. Tail twitching and lashing behind her, she approached and tried to look more confident than she felt. 

The two guard looked down at her questioningly, once at each other, and then back down again. "Aren't you the cat girl that likes to steal our breakfast?" 

Ah, that. She'd forgotten about that. 

* * *

 

_ That day had been an exciting one. It had begun, as these things usually do, with a bout of boredom between Catra and the other kids at the orphanage. Breakfast that morning had been lackluster because most of the food had been shipped up to the upper ring for some celebration or other. Boredom combined with hunger meant they had hatched a plan to steal some meats and cheeses for their own. Just for fun, of course.  _

_ Some of the other children had been able to snatch a few crackers here and there without being caught, but Catra.. Catra was going to go above and beyond.  _

_ Being as small as she was, she was able to quietly find her way towards where the guards took their breakfast, a little hall down the way from the barracks. They were offered the food for free as long as they left their weapons by the door. And so, the plan was hatched. _

_ She had snuck her way into the building, slipped under a table and bided her time. Sounds of tankards hitting wood, chatter amongst the guards, and armor clinking as they moved while they ate covered her movements while she moved from under one table to the next until she finally made her way to the kitchen. The motherload.  _

_ Seeing the stacks of cooked meats and fruits with various types of breads, spreads, and jams on plate after plate… well, hungry children will do as hungry children will do. She started grabbing anything she could get her hands on and stuffing it in her bag and pockets, not caring about the grease soaking through the cloth.  _

_ It wasn’t until she had stuck her claws into the large pile of sauces and spreads that she was caught, an inhuman screeching shocking her in placing.  _

_ “What are you doing?! You little cretin!”  _

_ She grabbed the whole bowl and ran, tripping over the food in her pants. The other children watching the spectacle cheered her on even as the guardspeople tripped over their benches and armor to get at her. _

_ They ate pretty well that morning, even if she did spill most of the jam running back home. _

* * *

 

Her smile was tentative. "Probably another one? I'm not the only one in the city, ya know." The question in her voice was only exacerbated by the uptick in pitch, to which the guards only laughed at in response. Catra's stomach churned. 

"What do you need? Someone steal your shit?" Another quick guffaw from the guard and he shook his head. "I'm kidding, I'm kidding. You're here to sign up, yeah?" 

Catra's tongue felt thick in her mouth, so she nodded in response where words failed. That feeling of making the right choice had faded so quickly that she thought she should turn around and make a beeline right for the lower ring again. Just embrace that hellish life instead of trying to make it better for herself. In that quick second of doubt, the guards brought her into the doorway and pointed her towards where another higher ranking member of the guard sat looking over papers and scribbling notes here and there. He looked up when she walked in and gestured for her to come quickly. 

She did, as if on autopilot. He only pushed a paper towards her and handed her a pencil. "Sign your name if you're enlisting. Write your birth year and your address. We have a quick vetting process, then if you make it through, I'll be showing you to your new quarters after the lads finish their breakfast." His voice was low and gravelly, not quite scary, but not quite soothing either. Something told her he'd been through quite a lot if he was able to just sit here and sign papers through the day. 

Catra looked down at the paper and saw a handful of names above where hers would be. Leaning forward, she scribbled the information provided and then soon after, she was shoved away through a few halls and out into the grounds.


	3. Chapter 3

The grounds were far brighter than Catra was used to, the sand covering the pit to provide a softness also reflected the sun and made it that much harder to see. When she took the step outside, going from the darkened interior and being used to the shadows cast on the streets, she flinched at the bright light in her eyes. The other recruits seemed to have a similar reaction as her, standing with squinting eyes and chatting amongst themselves. She didn’t recognize a single one of them, but with as many people in the city, that didn’t surprise her.

The sand was a bit warmer than the cool stone just a few steps away, but it sent a pleasant chill down her spine as she stepped into it. Warmth was something she cherished after growing up in a drafty building with little to no heating. The magic of the runestone didn’t quite carry it as far as the orphanage, but they made do with small coal heaters.

The other recruits scrambled to attention when she was brought out, and one of them gave a half-hearted salute to the guard who only laughed at him when he did so. Catra made a note of that one’s face and would remember it later. She would also remember to not salute at just any other guard older than her. There was a ranking here, and she was sure to learn it eventually.

The older gentleman from before had followed her out and made his way in front of them, giving them all some sort of once over before letting out a sound that she could only assume was displeasure at their state. Her fur bristled at the scrutiny. Sure, she was scrawny, but she would and could prove herself in this if that's what he wanted.

Before she could even make a move to say anything, he spoke up.

"Recruits." The gravelly voice was louder, the tone gruff and stern. It immediately made the six of them stand straight up, even Catra. _This was it_ , she thought. _Either I do this and make something of myself or fail and go back to the previous plan._

"The vetting process is not something to fear or dread. We are only seeing exactly your strengths and weaknesses. Some of you may be Gatekeepers, some of you may be sent to the front forces to defend our gates. Some of you may even be sent home without a uniform to call your own. But let there be no doubts here: none of you will be a part of our elite until you prove yourself a worthy protector. If that is your entire goal here, you should leave now. Our Brightguard are the ones sworn to protect the royal families with their life. Recruits from off the streets cannot and will not be trusted with such a task."

As he spoke, he paced back and forth, watching their faces for any slight change. Catra kept her face carefully blank. Poor fucking Kyle. The speech seemed practiced and deliberate, at least. Intended for a much larger audience than six recruits. But Catra held onto every word. She would prove herself here, she knew it.

“Some of our royal guard are not the best, by any means, but they have proven that they seek to be better and will lay their lives down if it meant to keep the family from harm. What we expect from you here is your best that you can give. If you’re here to seek a better life than the one that’s been dealt to you, you’re not the only ones nor will you be the last to step through those doors to try and get a step ahead. If you’re here to protect your fair city, then I suggest you stop lying to yourself and find the real reason you’re thinking of giving your life to this company.”

There were a few chuckles behind her, but Catra only frowned. It seemed that no one in the lower rings really cared that much about protecting something that was as shitty as it was. At least this man knew his audience, she had to give him that.

"You'll be given a series of tasks to complete, judged on them by me and another, then you'll spar. Tournament style. Again, this isn't for a win. This is to see your strengths so we may know where to help you improve and then place you after training. Before we begin, let’s introduce ourselves. I am Captain Alwin."

Catra watched as he went from recruit to recruit and shook their hand and a sickly feeling churned in her stomach. After this there was no turning back. When he came to her, she looked up directly into his eyes, hardened yet kind and took his hand. There was no hesitation in her voice as she spoke her name and sealed her fate.

* * *

 

That same morning when dawn broke, the sun shining through brightly colored windows made a girl groan and roll over in her bed. Pink and purple hued light shone through the room, making it near impossible to go back to sleep once the light had hit her eyes. It didn’t help that she heard footsteps in her room and the curtains opening wider. Damn it.

“Lady Adora! You begin your training today.”

Another groan was her answer underneath the piles of blankets.

“Adora.. You did say to remind you yesterday evening.”

“I know.” The first words uttered were filled with the desire to go back to sleep, but she did sit up. Long blonde hair stuck up in odd angles, and the servant had to hold back his laughter at the look on her face paired with the unkempt hair.

“Lady Glimmer will not be joining you, however. She begins her heiress classes today.”

“Oh, I bet she’ll just _love_ that.” Adora murmured as she finally slid out of the bed with a stretch. Both of them seemed to agree with the sarcasm, the man giving a subtle eyebrow raise and nod. “Light breakfast this morning, then, Ian?”

Ian only let out a small chuckle and moved across the room to bring in a tray and set it on the desk across the room. “You would be correct in that, Lady Adora. The portions were measured perfectly to provide you with enough energy to get through the first half of the training, since it will be quite rigorous. After that, your instructor will let you break. Though after the luncheon with Glimmer and the ambassadors, you will be free to train for the afternoon and evening.”

While he spoke, Adora faced away from him and slipped into her pants and shirt for the day. She knew she’d have to change into something more formal for the luncheon and her lips curled at the thought. What was the point of having all that power if you couldn’t just wear comfortable clothes for a simple meeting? Clipping her belt around her waist, she turned back around to face the butler.

“At least it’s not a busy day today.”

“Indeed, my lady. I’ll have to go attend to Lady Glimmer now, will you be alright finding your way to the courtyard?”

She only fixed him with a look. “You know me better than that, Ian. Go, go, do your job.”

He only laughed and exited the room, leaving Adora to examine her breakfast. Perfectly measured proportions were right. It was basically just her normal consumption halved, but with more protein to get her through the first bit of the day.

Down in the courtyard, her training instructor greeted her with a low bow, bent at the hips with his arm extended. She returned the bow, keeping a careful eye on him, in case this was just a chance for him to surprise attack. He was the type to do so, having bopped her on the head to catch her off guard during their strategy classes a few months ago.

No attack came and she rose, still watching him carefully. “Are we just going to stand here, Garret, or are you going to teach me something new?” She tilted her head with a smile, hand resting at her waist.

“You remember the forms we studied?”

“Please. You know I went over them again last night.”

Her response was met with a chuckle and the lankier man turning his back to pick up two practice swords. He tossed it at her with ease and she barely caught it, realizing quickly that it was meant to be wielded with two hands. The heft of it took her off guard, the tip falling back down to the dirt before she made the effort to lift it.

“It’s weighted for practice, to build your muscle. But we won’t be practicing with these for long, you’ll need to be able to wield a perfectly weighted sword to be able to do damage. Hopefully, you won’t be seeing any combat, but it’s always good to have the skill.”

Adora only raised her eyebrows at him in response, resulting in her instructor laughing quietly.

“You don’t want to see combat, my lady. Nevertheless, show me what you’ve got.”

She hunkered down and charged at him, all too eager to get started. 

* * *

 

The tasks they were given were fairly simple, all things considered. The recruits only had to show their skill in basic sword-fighting, make a few long range shots with a bow. Then they were judged on their general hand-to-hand skills, and picked a weapon of their choice and do the same. Catra hated the sword, unable to get her footing down well enough to get the strikes to hit exactly where she wanted them to go. The bow was a little easier, but she hated staying so still. Hand to hand was much easier, as was being able to pick a lightly weighted staff and demonstrate there.

None of them were perfect by any means and the only one who did slightly above average in every task was a slightly more built man, about a head taller than her. When questioned, he only stated that he hunted for the food in his family.

The sparring started soon after, and Catra mostly just watched as the recruits wiped each other on the sand, fighting dirty just like the scrappers in the lower rings usually did. When it came to her turn, she stretched out and bounded to the middle. Her partner ended up being the bigger guy, and he only gave her a sheepish grin. Her eyes narrowed at him and when they were given the signal to begin, she lunged at him.

He made no move to get out of the way and instead lifted his arms to defend himself and wound up surprised when she slid underneath his legs and scrambled up behind him. It did exactly what she wanted it to and made him a little off balance as for what to expect and his grin widened.

He made the next move, swinging wide at her head and she just managed to duck down. His fist clipped the top of her ears and she used the momentum of her downward motion to kick off of the sand beneath her paws and pounce up at his shoulders. Her feet planted firmly on his shoulders and she used him as another jumping pad and landed behind him again. This time when he turned, he seemed more amused and having fun than anything.

Catra just gave him a shrug and the grin on her face was just as amused. Neither one of them had been able to hurt the other yet, though she knew if he landed a good hit, those meaty hands would knock the wind right out of her. Her best bet was to toy with him, play it safe for the time being. He seemed to understand, too, and went along with it.

At the end, both of them had only managed to land two solid hits on each other. Catra got a gut punch for her troubles, the recruit having faked her out and going for it. In response, she lashed out with her claws and raked down his face. They were stopped by the Captain then, him giving them both a curious look before sending them off to sit down and declaring the match a draw.

The rest of the fights went similarly, and the big guy ended up winning and Catra coming close. All exhausted and ushered into the mess hall, she found out that the guy’s name was Jakob. Over dinner, small talk was made and the Captain headed up towards the front of the room to congratulate the lot of them.

“You all have done very well this afternoon. I’ve taken some time to decide on your placements and have ultimately decided that all of you, with the exception of Jakob, will be part of our front line company. Jakob will be posted as a Gatekeeper of the Upper Ring. The rest of you, please remember that this is not a punishment. We were impressed by your skill and know you will do very well in protecting this city and region.”

After the small speech, Catra found herself tensing and hunching over her food protectively.

“Front lines aren’t so bad.” She looked up to see Jakob smiling down at her. All brawn, no brain, then.

“Sure, just boring.”

“It’s better than being sent off to be killed. It’s a good time to join up, even if you do get stationed out in the sticks.” He brought down his hand on her back with a chuckle and shook her.

She couldn’t fight the smile on her face, either. “Yeah, you’re right. At least it’ll be cleaner air than down low.”

“You got that right, Catra.” His laughter was easy, and the others laughed as well. She tried to hide her own smile in her dinner. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad, not with company like this.

* * *

 

Adora flopped on her back, chest heaving and sweat making her now unkempt hair stick to her forehead. It had long since become unraveled during the training. The morning session was rough, but easy compared to the hell she had just gone through. Her instructor had vowed to make her be unable to walk the next morning without limping, but they had to wait until after the luncheon with the ambassadors to do so.

The grass felt cool through her shirt, the jacket long discarded once it became too hot and unwieldy for what she was being tasked to do.

Garret moved into her field of view, blocking out the moonlight and chuckled down at her. He nudged her thigh with the tip of his boot as if to say that she shouldn’t be laying down on the job. With an exaggerated groan, she sat up, already feeling the ache in her arms from carrying the hefty wooden sword for hours upon hours.

“We’re done for today.”

“I can do one more drill.”

“And I’m telling you that you’re done. Go get some rest and we’ll continue in the morning.”

Adora opened her mouth to protest, to insist that she could handle at least one more, but the instructor only shook his head and repeated, “Rest.”

It took her quite a bit to be able to stand without wobbling, but she did heed his command and made her way slowly back towards her bedroom. Glimmer would probably be resting by now, too, and with Bow, more than likely. The young guard was her best friend from when they were only little, and Adora was counted in that number. He was one of the few to welcome her with no second guessing. It took Glimmer a little bit longer to warm up to the idea of having a new sister that didn’t look a bit like her. Eventually, they found their dynamic with Bow bridging the gap.

A little smile played on her lips while she thought about it. Instead of heading directly towards her bedroom, she made her way towards Glimmer’s.

Just as she expected, Bow was already lounging on her floor, massaging at his calves. Glimmer lay across her bed, and they both greeted her enthusiastically as she flopped in her typical spot at Glimmer’s desk.

“How was the training, Adora?” Bow broke the silence with a big grin and excited tone. “I bet you kicked so much butt!”

Glimmer laughed out before Adora could reply, “Come on, Bow, she’s just a beginner, even if she knows the theoretics up and down.”

Adora’s ears tinged pink and she stuck her tongue out at them both. “It was okay. I think Garret just wanted to tire me out today, mostly. He taught me how to keep my stance balanced and we sparred. A lot.”

“Sounds fun. Way better than what I had to deal with.” Glimmer grumbled out and rolled over to face her two friends.

“Politics?”

“Politics.” Both Glimmer and Bow repeated in response, and the three of them laughed.

* * *

 

Adora eventually retreated back to her own bedroom, but couldn’t bring herself to go in and get ready for sleep yet. She was still way too energized from the adrenaline of the day and something at the back of her head tickled. She’d had the feelings before, but usually she fell asleep far before she let that urge to explore take hold. Not so, this night.

Hesitating at her door, she groaned at herself and turned heel to make her way back down towards the courtyard. She wandered back and forth, debating on doing a little more training or exercise but couldn’t quite bring herself to stay still long enough. The tug at the back of her head pulled a little harder when she walked out towards the edge of the yard, overlooking the rest of the city.

Eventually, she’d have to go back, but something pulled her further and further.

Mind made up, she took a quick look around to make sure no one was watching and vaulted over the wall, landing with a tumble on another patch of grass a little bit below. She’d have to do this carefully, but she eventually snuck her way out down towards the middle ring, then the lower ( wrinkling her nose at the smell that came with it ), and finally out towards the edge of the Whispering Woods.

The pull was so strong here that she didn’t even stop to hesitate before stepping over the rubble of once high walls and into the brush.

It felt like hours since she’d left the castle, and maybe another few since she entered the woods, but all she could do was keep going. Too late to turn back now. Another hour and she reached a clearing, and the sight that greeted her told her that this is exactly what she was being called to.

Tangled in green and purple roots was a blue and gold sword, looking as if someone just stuck it here just for her. Each step closer seemed to make the sword pulse with a glowing light, bright and white. As she stood next to it, something told her to reach out, to grab it and take it for herself.

The moment her fingertips touched the hilt, her world went white.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i figured i'd go ahead and post this one instead of waiting, that way we can start weaving in more of adora's story. i'm having fun with the worldbuilding of this fic, so i may end up posting some aesthetics or moodboards on my tumblr later on~


	4. Chapter 4

“Adora..”

When she opened her eyes, she wasn’t greeted by the familiar sight of gnarled trees and soft grass, but a vast expanse of nothingness. She blinked against the white and brought her hands up to check that she could see and was not blinded by the flash. They looked normal, though vibrant against the lack of color around her. The next thing she tried was to stand, to push off of something around her, but there was nothing. Instead, as she looked down, she realized she was.. Floating? Her feet touched nothing.

As she tried to move, the sensation was familiar. Like swimming in a lake where her feet couldn’t touch the bottom. There was no water, only void.

“Adora..”

She whipped her head around to follow the sound of her name being whispered, but saw nothing. The voice wasn’t familiar, but it felt like a caress. Like a soothing, spreading warmth emanating from her chest. Her immediate gut reaction was to feel fear, but the whisper calmed her.

Steeling herself for whatever this was, Adora finally spoke, “Where am I?”

“That is not important.”

The whisper was closer and she whipped around only to see nothing again. However, a dark speck of color appeared on the horizon, giving her eyes time to focus and rest against the white.

“Who are you?”

“We are not important.”

The voice seemed to inch ever closer and this time, Adora didn’t startle, but turned slowly. Another speck. She set her jaw and pushed her hands against her face to try and settle herself, and not let her frustration burst forth. “What was that sword?”

Just as expected, another answer and another splotch of color. “Fate. Protection. Life.”

It was now that Adora realized that these voices did not belong to one person, but rather three entities who seemed to materialize in a triangle around her. They all looked identical save for a slightly different eye shape, posture, and the colors of their clothing. The first to speak was dressed in light purples and her garments seemed to float and wisp around her. This color was soothing, reminiscent of Glimmer and her powers.

“The Sword of Protection is yours and only yours. We’ve waited such a long time for you.” The voice was disjointed yet ethereal, the syllables layering over each other as if she were interrupting herself. It sent a chill down her spine and the soothing quality of the voice seemed long gone.

“You must accept your fate.” The next was layered in harsh lines and red, making Adora wince at the vibrancy and contrast against the white backdrop. Her voice was just as hard to listen to as her clothing was to look at.

“And protect the life of all Etherians. Protect our World, Adora.” This voice was the soothing one, matching the light gray tones and cloth that draped around her.

Though their voices had different qualities, each seemed to have the same base, like they were the same person just split into three.

Adora stared at them all, mouth agape. This was a weird dream, that’s all. Just an effect from all the training she had done today. Her mind in overdrive while her body rested.

As if sensing her doubt the three women reached out and touched Adora, sending her vision shooting up and up into the void until she was seeing nothing but a vast darkness with dotted stars. There was no time to look around or try and gasp for air as she was hurtled forward until she was on her hands and feet on solid ground.

The grass wasn’t vibrant like the Woods, but ashy and gritty underneath her palms. Tilting her head up, she saw that the familiar Woods weren’t there. Instead, what she saw was nothing but fire, smoke, and a dark red horizon. Eyes wide, she turned to look for something she recognized, but saw nothing but the city of Bright Moon in ruins. Once beautiful and white, it was now crumbled and gray, with red splattered on the upper walls and castle. The loud thump of her heartbeat in her ears muffled the distant screaming and explosions. Another blast rocked the ground beneath her and she looked around wildly to find the source, but only saw the massive army in gray, black, and red advancing towards her home.

Before she had a chance to react, her vision was pulled down back below the earth and plummeted towards the white void.

The three women still held her in place, but her vision swam with unshed tears.

“Do you accept the Sword, Adora?”

Her only answer was a shaky nod, before she lost consciousness.

* * *

The sun didn’t wake Catra that next morning, and instead she was startled out of bed by a rhythmic thumping of shields against the stone floor. All of the recruits scrambled out of bed, with bleary eyes and tousled hair as they stood at attention for Captain Alwin to come through.

The elderly man took his time inspecting each of their stances and correcting them. Catra was told to keep her chin up, keep eye contact and her back straight. It took effort to do so, but she tried to hold the position while being spoken to. Once the postures were corrected, they were handed their uniforms and told to get dressed immediately. He left the room and all of them rushed to get them on quickly and headed back out to the grounds for more training.

The training uniforms were a simple tunic and leathers for protection, hearty but still allowing them range of motion. The formal guard uniform was to be laid at the edge of their bed, and worn only on duty. It would be months before then, they were assured, but the sight of it made Catra’s stomach flip uneasily. She was here and doing this, and there was no going back. Sure, going out on patrol on the front lines didn’t seem like the most exciting job, but it was better than nothing.

Out on the grounds, they ran through more drills and fighting techniques. The general training sessions lasted for hours on end, only breaking for breakfast at dawn, lunch at noon, then dinner sometime during the evening. After dinner, they were allowed to retire to their quarters, but not allowed to leave the barracks.

That day was more explanation of the rules and wearing them out for a good night’s rest than anything.

* * *

Blinking her eyes open, Adora realized very quickly that something was different and off. For one, it was well past dawn. And more importantly, she was in her bedroom. Glimmer, Bow, Queen Angella, and King Micah were all gathered around her bed. Yelping, she scrambled to sit up and cover herself, just in case. It wasn’t necessary.

“How am I...?”

“We brought you back home. Had the whole castle in an uproar this morning.” Bow spoke so matter-of-factly. The tension seemingly seeping out of him as soon as he saw she was awake. Adora’s eyebrows knitted together and she looked over at Glimmer and her parents.

“What happened?”

Glimmer’s worry hadn’t dissipated at all, and though her face usually was soft, now seemed to be set in hard lines. “You weren’t in your bed this morning, Adora. We couldn’t find you anywhere, and had to send some of the Brightguard to look for you.” She reached out to take her hand, and Adora squeezed it tightly as if to say that she was okay, she’s here.

She continued, though seemed to relax slightly. “You were out in the Whispering Woods. Deep in the woods. Almost in... almost at the edge of the border.”

Adora’s eyes widened, and she sucked in a sharp breath, suddenly remembering the vision from the night before. The three women, Bright Moon in ruins with Horde soldiers advancing quickly, everything. “Was there anything... wrong or around me or different?”

All of them shook their heads. “We had our physician come and take a look. Nothing seems to be wrong, other than you were a little cold.”

Glancing around, Adora looked for the sword, only to find that it wasn’t there. It had to be somewhere. That pull tugged at the back of her head, but she pushed the sensation away and tried to barrel forward. “And the.. The Horde? No news or anything? Nothing bad?”

There was a moment of silence and she could see the moment that confusion took hold in their features. The others glanced at each other, another shot of worry peeking through the confusion. It was Micah who spoke next.

“No, dear. You weren’t in the territory and our Brightguard searching made sure to not overstep the boundary.”

Adora opened her mouth to push, wanting to ask about any attacks or the treaty or the sword, but closed it quickly and only smiled. “I feel okay. Really. What time is it?”

“Almost noon.” Angella’s voice touched her ears just before she pressed her lips to the top of Adora’s forehead in a show of affection and worry. “Would you like us to send food up or would you like to join us in the hall?” It seemed to be a question for all of them.

“Send it up for us, please? I’d like to just have some time to relax for a while, just make sure everything’s… great.” She smiled shakily up at the king and queen, and they seemed to buy the excuse. Before they left, however, Micah leaned and placed another kiss on both Adora’s and Glimmer’s heads.

All three of them waited for a good two minutes after they left before they all began exclaiming at each other. Adora started to go into an explanation, while Glimmer and Bow both started asking what happened. It was a few seconds of confusion and cacophony but it sent them into a fit of laughter.

“Seriously, seriously, what happened? You went right to bed after you left my room last night, right?”

Adora shook her head in response to her question, “I mean.. I went back to my room, but I dunno. I just had this feeling that I should go for a walk or something, you know? So I did. And I did go to the woods, I remember going there, but I found this sword..”

Glimmer and Bow exchanged a look that Adora couldn’t quite decipher.

“And I touched it because it was glowing and seemed to call-”

“You touched a random sword in the middle of the woods at night? You realize that’s how like.. Every legend ever starts, right?”

Glimmer shoved Bow and motioned for Adora to continue with a snicker.

“I guess! But I touched it and then like.. I had this crazy dream thing. I must have passed out or the sword might have been covered with one of those tree saps that make you see things, because that was just- It was a lot..”

She stopped, thinking she was done explaining, but there was a beat of awkward silence before Glimmer flicked her leg. “Don’t stop there! Explain the dream! It might be important.”

Adora shifted uncomfortably, making a face. The dream itself ( or vision? ) was weird for sure, but the end of it made her feel like an icy hand was clutching her heart and tugging it out of her chest. Licking her lips, she shifted again so her knees were pulled up and wrapped her arms tightly around them.

“Well, it was.. I think I saw the end of Bright Moon? It was the aftermath of some big battle. We lost and the Horde was marching on us. I don’t know how important that would be to really anything right now? The treaty is solid and you guys didn’t encroach on the border line when you guys came to get me at all, so.. Just a nightmare?”

As she spoke, explaining the dream without going too much in depth about the sights and sounds, even the tastes of gunpowder and magic mixing in the air, Adora couldn’t stop pulling in on herself. She was trying to make herself small or would fidget, only alarming her friends more.

Of course, it was just a nightmare. Prophetic visions weren’t a thing. Powers like that were unheard of, even if magic was common. Prophecies were tied inherently to the dark magics that the Fright Zone made use of. Or at least, that’s what Adora kept repeating in her head.

Glimmer was the first to move or respond, reaching out to touch Adora’s knee with feather light fingers. Bow moved from his seat at the edge of the bed to sit next to her and wrap an arm over her shoulders while the shorter princess spoke.

“It’s okay, Adora. Like you said, it might have been some sort of poison or just a bad dream from sleepwalking out there. And anyways, the sword wasn’t there with you when they found you, otherwise Mom would have mentioned putting it in the vault.”

Adora nodded with her eyes screwed tightly shut. “Yeah, you’re right. It just.. Felt so real. Scary real, like I was experiencing it rather than just watching it happen. I don’t even know if that makes sense.”

“Of course it does. We all have those dreams. Stress, eating something weird, sleeping in the wrong position.” Bow squeezed against Adora’s shoulders and lightly shook her, comforting her in his own way. She did appreciate it.

With a smile, Adora opened her eyes again and leaned heavily into Bow. Glimmer scooted across the bed a little to sit at Adora’s other side, pressing against her. It wasn’t long before the conversation tapered off into talking about each of their trainings, Glimmer mostly complaining about having to be so proper all of the time and Bow getting up to excitedly demonstrate the proper posture and salutes for Brightguard soldiers.

It was a nice change of pace from their day to day.

* * *

The next day began a little easier, but Adora was still unable to go down to continue her combat training due to Garret being sent away for meetings, which meant she was left to entertain herself for a bit. She didn’t think it was a smart idea for them to leave her alone so soon after the ordeal, but she also didn’t mind that they did. It gave her some time to put her ducks in a row and figure out where the hell that sword had gone.

It was so beautiful when she’d first seen it, and she wanted to get a better look, but there was also a big part of her that wondered whether or not the damn thing was even real. Adora had paced around her room for a while, sorting out her thoughts before settling on a plan. She scribbled out a quick outline of what to do and where to search for information without people breathing down her neck. The first step definitely had to be the library in the castle. If not there, then she could get an escort to search for some books in the market. She marked that down and tucked the notes she made into her pocket.

Slipping out wasn’t too hard, but avoiding the caretakers of the royal library were a little bit more difficult. They were friendly enough, but they also knew that Adora was quite rowdy as a young girl. She pretended to browse some combat strategy books for a while until they wandered past and didn’t wander back. Couldn’t hurt to be actually doing some studying while Garret was away, right?

She waited for a bit longer, and then quickly and quietly made her way back towards the back area, where the dustier tomes were held. They weren’t forbidden or under lock and key by any means, but there was no need to arouse suspicion when there needn’t be.

Book after book after book ended up piled on top of a desk as she kept pulling off ones that seemed relevant to what she was looking for until she found nothing else. Staring down at the desk and the pile of thick, fragile books, she heaved a sigh and sat down to get to work. If anything, this was what she was good at. Extracting information, studying, and putting it to use in a practical manner. She’d demonstrated that with her instructor not two days prior.

While she tried to absorb each bit of information even remotely relevant, she made quick notes on her papers for things to look into. And for a very long while, there was nothing of note other than some interesting accounts of previous wars at the beginning of civilization and sometimes even before. No mention of any sword, yet, but there were mentions of large female warriors dotted here and there through history. That was interesting in itself, though ultimately unrelated. She marked it down.

It took her hours before she found only one mention of a sword, and there was no name attached in the book itself but the descriptor made her sit up and pay attention. The detail of it was outlined in some myth she’d not had the privilege to hear of before, but thousands of years prior this sword was used to fell beasts and man alike. Some large four-legged beast threatened the land of Etheria and this sword was used to deliver the killing blow.

Skimming through the story, she found that this was something do with some warrior named She-ra, a large woman --- Adora blinked down at the book and quickly flipped back to her notes to compare what she’d written down and let out a breath. Interesting. Giving herself some time to breathe and do a little dance at getting down to the bottom of this, she continued on moments later.

The woman warrior named She-ra would let out a battle cry, and charge into battle, cutting down her enemies with defensive capabilities and the power of light. Every iteration of this warrior mentioned the battle cry, now that Adora was looking through her notes, and also mentioned some form of light power.

Her fingers trailed over the page, murmuring the words to herself to try and make sure she caught anything interesting and of note about the sword. When she read the words of the battle cry out loud, even in the barest whisper, there was another bright flash of light. This time it didn’t blind her, only shocked her into scrambling backwards and sending her and the chair toppling over.

In her hand, she held the Sword of Protection,seemingly materialized by her words and curiosity.


	5. Chapter 5

The racket Adora made in falling over had alerted the caretakers of the royal library quickly, and were on her within minutes, the sword still in hand. It was silver and blue with a gold hilt and trim, glowing and sparkling brilliant in the low light. Adora’s heart beat fast in her chest, and she looked up at the older couple with both fear and excitement. One of them held up her hand to silence the other two and walked away, steps quick but quiet. 

“What.. What’s happening?” Adora whispered and held up the sword to get a better look at it, causing her and the other caretaker still standing in front of her to wince as the glow brightened. It seemed to be reacting to Adora’s presence and voice, though nothing seemed to change in her or it.

“We need to go to Angella, immediately. I believe that’s where she’s gone. Come on. Up, this is urgent.”

Confusion rippled across Adora’s features, but she lifted herself off the ground, gripping onto the sword like it might disappear at any second. Even as they walked, she couldn’t take her eyes off of it. There was something surreal about physically holding the thing you thought was only a dream.

As she entered her adopted mother’s study, the air here felt different. Thicker, somehow. It made catching her breath difficult. Even the way Angella held herself in front of her was more stiff. She wasn’t the type to let go, but this was something more tense than her usual posture. Her eyes flickered down to the sword in Adora’s hands and she sucked in a sharp breath.

“You found this in the woods, didn’t you?”

All Adora could do was nod, and Angella turned away from her. Her shoulders rose higher, and she could barely make out her mother’s grip tightening on the desk.

“Mom?”

She was met with a few beats of silence.

“Did I do something wrong?”

Almost immediately, Angella was turning around again. Her hands reached out to Adora’s shoulders, cupping her face in a way that soothed her, much like the gentle touch that had brought her out of a restless and nightmare-filled sleep when she was younger. Adora’s own eyebrows knitted together, and she looked down to the sword.

“What’s going on? Why are you all looking at it like that?”

A heavy sigh was her answer for the time being. Angella pulled away with a brief kiss to the top of Adora’s head and sat down heavily in her desk chair. “That’s a sword no one on Etheria thought they’d see again.”

Adora opened her mouth to speak, to question once more, but her mother’s finger raised and she knew that meant to wait. There would be time for questions later.

“The Sword of Protection belonged to She-ra, which it seems you know from the look of recognition.” There was another pause while Angella gathered her thoughts. “She-ra has never been… one person, according to the myths. I am quite old, yes, but I’ve never been able to see or experience the glory of this warrior. I only know from the stories passed down from my mother and her mother before that.”

A beat and Adora moved to sit down, recognizing that whatever this was, she would need to be prepared to have her world rocked.

“She-ra is a power, locked within that blade, and passed down a family line over centuries. She… is more of a possession, from my understanding. Though I imagine that it’s more of a partnership than that sounds. Regardless, the legends say that She-ra only emerges in times of need, through this sword. It is her duty to protect the world of Etheria, and now.. I suppose, it’s yours as well.”

She ended her thought quietly, and Adora drew in a deep breath, letting it out long and slow like she’d been taught to center herself. There was a rush of pride, then of fear. Then many emotions roiling within her, threatening to explode.

“When do I start?”

* * *

 

During the next week or so, Adora realized that the sword doesn’t stay once summoned. After a few hours or once dropped, it disappears and leaves no trace of its existence behind. The sword would reappear into her hand, heavy and cool to the touch, if she willed it so. There were no words needed, though the words of She-ra’s legendary battle-cry always stuck in the back of her mind.

She read through book after book of mythology, taking notes where she thought it might be needed. Anything to help her unlock the true power of the warrior was written down and tucked away. Adora learned that though She-ra was a woman of great power, there were a select few that were chosen or had the blood in their veins. One of her ancestors was the previous, and fell because the power had driven her mad. There was no more beyond that, and it wasn’t mentioned anywhere else. Even asking Angella had proved fruitless.

Her sword training continued, and though her instructor was made aware of the sword’s power, he still continued his regimen with no special treatment. It was both frustrating and exhilarating.

* * *

 

The day came quicker than she had hoped for Catra’s only friend in the barracks until Kyle arrived, Jakob, to be sent away. It’d only been a few weeks since they arrived there, and already he was meant to be in the upper ring while the rest of them were training for the front lines. It was a stark reminder to see him packing that morning, and something twisted in her chest that made her throat tighten and her eyes feel hot.

He gave her a hug that she didn’t return and left. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she knew that would be the last time she saw him. The days from then on were more tedious to get through, but she pushed through the boredom with determination that she’d get out, one way or another.

* * *

 

It was a month before Adora was allowed to use the Sword of Protection during her training exercises. Any other moments with it were spent studying it, not using it. All it took was a few swings and blocks before using it felt natural. The training session went on for hours, as they all usually did, but by the time it was over, she felt like only minutes had passed. Her own breath being ragged, the sweat sticking to her clothes, and the sun being lower in the sky were the only clues she had to the time passage.

Every subsequent training session went the same. Adora would feel like she had lost time but would retain a little more with each match. Some of the techniques she displayed were techniques she’d only read about before, and she performed them perfectly and fluidly. Garret did not seem impressed and suspected that she had been practicing outside of their sessions far more than she needed to. And yet, Adora seemed surprised herself that she was able to do so, and wielding it one-handed at that.

There was an instinct there that wasn’t her own, and it seemed more and more like the sword was the one in charge when it came to fighting. It was the closest she’d been to the power of the legends, and yet? It felt odd to not be entirely in control, though she remembered what Angella said about it being a partnership. There was also the lingering thought in the back of her mind about the previous She-ra who went mad.

Part of her wondered if that was the reason, and instead of giving into the fear and anxiety, she fought harder against the instincts and worked in tandem with them instead of letting them take control.

* * *

 

Since Jakob’s reassignment, it was harder for Catra to find a reason to stay. It wasn’t that she was attached to the man, it was more that the training was getting more difficult and there was no stand out anymore. With Jakob around, he provided a morale boost in his jovial attitude and words of encouragement. Even when she felt like she was doing a shit job at whatever they were working at that day, Jakob was there to clap her on the back and point out what she was doing right and give her pointers on the things she felt like she was failing at.

It helped her improve, at the very least, and since his departure, it felt like she was more and more stagnant. There was a part of her that wondered often if she was bad enough that they would just kick her out and tell her to make it on her own.

One morning, maybe a month after Jakob’s reassignment, Captain Alwin called her into his office before the training was to begin and Catra had the sinking feeling that this was it. They were going to tell her to leave. Kick her out. He motioned for her to sit and make herself more comfortable and leaned back himself.

“Do you have any reason why I’ve called you in here?”

“No, sir.” She felt like she’d choke on those two words, but kept her chin held high. If she was to leave, she’d do it with at least some dignity, damn it.

Instead of Alwin’s face remaining stoic and hard, he cracked a smile at her. “Catra, you’re of the best recruits we have.”

She blinked, unsure if she was supposed to say something.

He continued, though, without missing a beat, “You work harder and you’ve shown more improvement than the others. I know that doesn’t sound like a compliment, but you’re all kids plucked off the street with no experience. You pick up the techniques quicker, even with things you struggle with.”

Her lips formed an ‘o’ in surprise. This was… definitely not what she expected.

“You’re doing good work, Catra. I’ve noticed that your determination has faded a bit since Jakob was sent to the upper ring, so I just wanted to give you a good report. Now, go get some grub and head out to the sands. It’s going to be a long day.”

Her only response was a quick nod and moving out of the room quickly towards the mess hall. Huh. Though completely shocked by the feedback, she couldn’t fight the smile from her face for the rest of the day and even went so far as to push herself. If she was already this good, then she might as well strive to be the best damn guard Bright Moon’s ever seen.

* * *

 

The second month past Adora’s summoning of the sword seemed to hold nothing but bad news. One morning, she was woken up by a frantic Ian who wouldn’t tell her anything but that she needed to go downstairs immediately. The fear on everyone’s faces made her stomach twist and drop, bile rising up in her throat.

She was rushed towards the war room, instead of the throne, and that immediately set the hairs on the back of her neck on end. Once she was sitting in the chair assigned to her, she looked at the near empty table. The other princesses wouldn’t be joining them, but the Brightguard were now filing in to take their space surrounding the table. It looked routine, but there was a weight in their movement like they knew something she didn’t yet. Glimmer followed, and Bow moved to his assigned spot behind her chair. There was a time when she would snicker at him, but the look on his face told her that this wasn’t it.

When her mother and father came in and took their seats at the head of the table, it was the look on their faces that made the tension go from slightly uncomfortable to a crushing weight against her chest.

* * *

 

The crack of dawn came a little earlier than usual that day, and all the recruits were sluggish getting out of bed at the sound of the horn. When the Captain came in to give them their assignments for the day, he wasn’t his usual self. Instead, there was an air of tension around him. Something had shifted and they were about to find out what.

With his hands held behind his stock-straight back, he looked to each and every one of their faces, making eye contact before staring ahead at the wall.

“As you all know, Bright Moon and the Horde have been enemies for as long as anyone can remember. It’s a fierce back and forth that affects each and every kingdom that surrounds us.”

Catra’s eyes narrowed, and some of the other recruits began to murmur around her.

“We have been very lucky to live in a time of peace for as long as we have, but I’ve just received word that the treaty that has held that peace in place has been broken. It was fragile, as many involved know, so this has been coming. It seems that the other shoe has finally dropped.”

He took a deep breath and looked around again. The recruits seemed to know what was coming next and the tension in the room made Catra’s fur stand on end.

“This means that those of you being sent to the frontlines aren’t in for a life of boredom and patrols as some of you may have hoped. It is highly likely that you will see combat. As such, our training will be increasing tenfold and our rules will be stricter. None of the guard wants to lose any more people, and especially not ones we’ve seen grow as soldiers under our noses.”

With that, he bowed his head, turned on his heel, and left. Whatever emotion he was overcome with seemed to spill out towards the recruits, who began to turn towards each other and try and make sense of what happened next. There was excitement in some of their eyes, and fear in others.

Catra only slumped back against her bunk and let out a long, shaky breath. There was the fear for her own life, but her only thought at that moment was Kyle. He was walking directly into the frying pan without knowing it.

* * *

 

There was no time for stopping after the news had been broken to her. If anything, Adora knew that she needed to work even harder to channel the power of She-ra. For days she worked herself to the point of exhaustion, sneaking off in the middle of the night to practice, and catching a few hours of sleep before rising at the break of dawn to do it all over again.

Garret seemed to know, if his telling looks were anything to go by, but he made no move to stop her or reprimand her. Maybe it was his own fear or maybe he wanted her to unlock the power and save them, too. It was that thought that pushed her to the limit, slashing and stabbing at him with the Sword of Protection until her own pain and rage and helplessness made her vision go white.

She couldn’t see, but she could feel her body continuing to charge forward, and Adora remembered the disjointed voices that night in the woods. She remembered the words from the book and heard them whispered to her like the three beings were right behind her.

“For the honor of Grayskull!”

The same words that she had whispered in the library to make the sword materialize erupted from her throat with her sword raised high in the air. The power behind the words nearly knocked her off of her feet and light exploded from her sword, knocking Garret back. He shielded his eyes from the light with a wince and a raised hand.

Breathing heavily, Adora looked down at the sword in her hand. Her field of vision seemed to skew higher and she look down to see that her entire body had changed. She didn’t have time to panic at the new sensations before her knees collapsed and she fell to all fours, the sword discarded. There was no blinding flash for the revert.

The few seconds in the changed body had completely stripped her of any remaining energy and even her arms shook with the effort of holding her up until they gave out as well. Laying face down in the dirt, her shoulders shook with disbelieving laughter. After a few seconds, she was able to muster rolling over onto her back. Getting up and into bed would provide a challenge for future Adora, but she couldn’t stop the elation at making at least a bit of progress.

If she could get that far in a week with enough determination, she could do this. The fear was still there, though eclipsed by the other emotions running rampant.

“Garret! Garret, I did it. I’m She-ra.”

Her instructor came into her view and smiled down at her, holding out a hand to help her up to her feet. He held an arm around her waist in case she fell again and laughed along with her. It was the first time that either of them had allowed themselves a moment of peace since the news had broken.

* * *

 

Things seemed to move faster for Catra in that week. Everyday they received news of some outlying town being hit and more casualties. The number only climbed higher and higher, and Catra wasn’t going to keep count. That was a dangerous road to go down.

The end of the week brought some of the injured soldiers from the lines to rest and heal before moving onto whatever they had next. If there was a full recovery, they were expected to go back right to it. If not, well, they didn’t need to worry about it, did they?

One man in particular was assigned to stay and train them for actual combat, spitting at Alwin’s boots for filling their heads with false hope. Alwin didn’t react as much of them expected him to, only walked away and left the scarred, limping man to oversee the training for the foreseeable future.

The sick feeling never went away, and she had her doubts. Running out was a thing, but she’d be hiding from the guard for the rest of her life or thrown in prison, something that was absolutely not an option. There would be nowhere else to turn and she’d be leaving Kyle alone. That couldn’t happen.

She’d go to the frontlines, then. If it meant sacrificing her life for a cause she didn’t care about, fine. As long as her life went to protecting her friend.

* * *

 

Another month meant more training, though Adora wasn’t pushing herself past the limit so much anymore. The victory of harnessing She-ra even if only for a second was a high point and something she didn’t need to kill herself to chase down. This particular day was a short one, since everyone in the castle was waiting for Lady Glimmer to return from negotiations with the neighboring kingdoms. She’d accompanied her father to flex her skills in diplomacy, since she wasn’t allowed to fight like Adora would be.

There was some bitterness there, Adora knew, but neither of them could rebel against the hand they’d been given at the moment. Not with the looming threat over their heads. She did hope that one day Glimmer would be by her side instead of in the tower. She figured Glimmer wanted that, too.

When she arrived alone and frustrated, they knew that it hadn’t gone well.

Glimmer flopped down at the table and held her head in her hands. Angella didn’t push, though it might have been one of the few times Adora noticed a crack in her armor. The furrowed eyebrows alone made her want to bolt.

“We’re on our own. Every single one of them refused.” She sounded like she hadn’t slept in days, and didn’t look much better either. “Dad’s going to stay in the Meadowlands to try and convince Perfuma, at least, since that seems to be where the Horde is setting their sights next. It doesn’t look good.”

Adora had to leave, then, knowing she’d be unable to hold back any words or thoughts scrambling inside of her head. She wrapped an arm around her body as if to protect herself from the stress, but it would do no good here. What she needed to do was train more and get a better grasp of She-ra.

* * *

 

No one’s luck had gotten better. This new Captain was horrific compared to Alwin. At the end of the day, Catra went to bed feeling like she was working muscles that had no right to be worked only to start it all over again the next day. They were all getting stronger and more ruthless, striking to kill and maim rather than to disarm. Often, they had to be pulled away from each other to prevent it. It was the fear manifesting and it was exactly what the scarred man wanted.

It was exactly what they had to do to live.

Word had reached them that they weren’t sitting idly by and waiting for recruits to join, and instead they were prowling the streets of the lower and middle rings to find capable folk ready and willing.

The training had been so rigorous that she’d lost track of the months that had passed, so when the group of new recruits filed in and she saw a familiar face, her stomach dropped. Kyle stood there, looking nervous but eager. All Catra wanted to do was scream at him that he was going to die, to just leave, to stop following this stupid dream. He would never listen, even if she tried. Her grip tightened on her staff and she had to remember how to breathe.

She was going to give her life for him. At least there’d be one survivor.

* * *

 

“You’re not doing this, Adora! You’re not ready.”

“Yes, I am! Mom, I can do this. We’ve already lost so much territory, and I can help. At least show that we have power.”

“Absolutely not. You do not have nearly enough control of the Sword and it’s power. We can’t lose that, and I can’t lose you. Do you understand?”

“I have--” Adora paused and the words registered. Blinking against the obvious crack in Angella’s tone, she nodded dumbly. Micah was still not around and it was taking a toll on all of them, but her mom the most. Glimmer wasn’t doing much better, though she and Bow tried to help her as much as they could when there was time.

Six months had passed since the night in the Whispering Woods, and Adora had only been able to transform the one time. Her insistence that she had some control was more wishful thinking than anything, and it was stupid to think she could fool her own mother. Especially when she was the Queen. 

“Okay. I’m sorry.” She moved closer to Angella and gave her a quick hug, hopefully easing off some of the tension that she had caused.

The apology was sincere, though that didn’t stop Adora from retreating back to her room to back a change of clothes and leave the castle. It was almost reminiscent of the night the sword called to her, only this time she had no idea where she was going. Her only thought was to go to the outskirts of the lower ring, where she had heard some of the injured were being tended to.

Somewhere in the back of her mind, she knew she’d heard that the barracks were being overfilled with both new recruits and injured soldiers, so a fair few of them were held out near the ruined wall that served as a city border.

It was easy enough to avoid patrolling guards and make her way towards that area. The injured people were kept in a few ruined houses and some lay out on cots in the grass. No one seemed to notice her until she got closer and even then, none asked questions. But what she saw wasn’t anything like she expected.

Some of the injuries were as simple as a broken arm or slash across the torso, and they looked like relatively okay. Others, however, were too far gone and were just given alcohol to keep them asleep or quiet. Completely missing limbs or their heads wrapped with blood-soaked bandages and cloth. Everywhere she looked there was something horrific.

In her vision, she had heard and seen explosions.

She made her way inside one of the buildings that was being used. The worst of the worst were held here and she thought she might be sick just from the stench alone. Reaching out towards one of the people tending to a patient, Adora had to know. “How.. how did this happen?”

The nurse only pursed her lips and looked down to the woman she was treating. Her skin looked sallow and her breathing ragged.

“I haven’t seen it myself, but the soldiers say some new technology. Our explosions and weaponry are magic based, connected to the runestone, but theirs? It’s something different entirely. They’ve been preparing all this time, while we were doing nothing but growing fat and lazy.” There was no bitterness in the nurse’s tone, only a dejected fatigue. These six months had done nothing but destroy the morale here.

Adora looked around to the others, seeing all the soldiers that she now realized were dying, made comfortable in their last moments, and then back to the nurse. “Is there anything I can do to help tend to them?”

The nurse looked up, and while there was recognition in her eyes and had been since the moment she spoke, she seemed shocked only now. As if they had expected a royal to come by, take a look, and leave.

“Yes.. of course, of course. We can use all the help we can get. Follow me, I’ll show you where to begin.”

Adora took one last look around before following the nurse deeper into the makeshift hospital, her heart heavy.

* * *

 

Kyle’s arrival at the barracks had done nothing but increase Catra’s anxiety. He wasn’t incapable of doing things, but he was so small and always with his head in the clouds. She kept going back to their conversation months ago about him just wanting to get out into the upper ring. And how she thought it was good to dream. It wasn’t anymore. You needed to keep your thoughts straight and your attention right in front of you. It was too dangerous to dream now.

But they fell together like they always did. She begrudgingly protected him against the others when he overstepped and welcomed his wide smiles for a change of pace, but nothing took her out of her head. Sooner or later, they’d be separated again.

Fate had a funny way of taking her own fears and turning them against her, though, since that evening after their dinner, Captain Alwin finally made his return.

He looked more haggard than she remembered with dark circles under his eyes and a yellow tint to his skin that wasn’t there before. Even as he stood, his posture seemed to relax and sway. Her mismatched eyes narrowed at him when he back to speak. There was a slight slur to his words.

“It is with great displeasure that I am the one to announce this.” His gaze cut to the scarred man sitting down beside him, and the man’s lips tightened in annoyance. “But we’re losing this war. The Horde has weaponry that we don’t know how to counter and double the amount of soldiers that they had the last time we fought them.”

Catra glanced to Kyle, who was sitting up straight with a bead of sweat trailing down his cheek. Alwin seemed to not care about withholding any information, either. Must be the drink. The other Captain’s face looked like it might explode as he spoke.

“Regardless, the troops that we’ve sent have been all but nearly wiped out. So that means most of you will be seeing combat within the week. Congratulations. Have a drink.” The last word of his sentence was muffled by his own cup being brought to his mouth. Whatever liquid was inside seemed to be strong, considering his wince even half-drunk.

Kyle turned towards Catra, eyes wide. Before he had a chance to express his fear, she shook her head and mouthed ‘later.’

Many of the other recruits drank until they passed out. Kyle had a sip and decided he didn’t like it. Catra refused entirely. While most of the others went to bed immediately, Catra slipped out and made her way to the roof. It was an easy task for her, but Kyle would have some difficulty. It almost felt like they were at the orphanage again, before she’d made this stupid decision.

Eventually he scrambled to the top and brought his knees to his chest. There was no dazzling light display that night, and even the clouds covered most of the stars. Catra briefly wondered if the clouds were just smoke blowing over.

“Catra?”

“Hmm?” She was looking up at the sky, squinting, and didn’t turn to look at him.

“You’re gonna be sent off, aren’t you?” His voice was quiet, shaking with an anxiety she was all too familiar with.

“Most likely. You’ll be okay, though. You’re new enough that you still have some training to do.”

“That’s— Catra, that’s not what I’m worried about.”

She paused and looked at him, seeing exactly what she was afraid to. His wide eyes, shining with tears. Her own eyes narrowed again, and she scoffed, looking away quickly. Her tail wrapped around her shins and she tried not to let her own tears begin to well up.

“I’ll be okay, too.” The stupid lump in her throat was going to make talking hard, wasn’t it?

“You can’t promise that.”

“I can try, though. I can try to be okay.” She paused and took a deep breath to steady herself. “Who knows? Maybe all they needed was me to get out there and kick their asses into last week.”

Kyle snorted and scooted closer. She allowed him to rest his head on her shoulder, but made no move to return any sort of affection. It worked for them.

“I know you’re probably going to go out there and show off and stuff.” Catra shook her head a little at that. No room to show off in war. “But can you just… try to be safe? Trying to be okay is fine, but your definition of okay is vastly different than the rest of the population’s.”

It was Catra’s turn to snort in response. “Yeah, yeah. I’ll try to be safe, but I’m still gonna do my job. I have to.”

They sat like that for another hour or so before retreating back to their quarters. Much like another night similar to that, Catra couldn’t make herself go to sleep and ended up sitting up in her bunk, watching the others.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm actually pretty excited about this chapter and the next! things are starting to kick off and come together more here, and we still have such a long journey ahead of us!


	6. Chapter 6

The trek from the city of Bright Moon to the camp Catra had been assigned to was tedious and about a week’s journey at walking pace. At first, she had been in awe of the terrain and world outside, having never seen it firsthand. She’d heard stories of what it looked like since she was a young girl, but there was something so dazzling about seeing the different hued colors of the grass and leaves of the woods. That awe and appreciation for beauty quickly turned to apprehension as they started to see smoke in the air, both from the aftermath of the battles and the campfires where they were headed.

The low hum of conversation directly around her seemed to fade away as they moved closer to the campsite, but she couldn’t quite see yet what caused the hush. She could smell something though, sharp and rancid in the air. Blood was familiar, but the overpowering scent of burn seemed to permeate through. Rot and fire mingled together and she had to immediately cover her nose and mouth to try to prevent anything from coming up.

The others around her looked at her funnily for a moment, most of them human, but the ones who weren’t had the same reaction. One of the younger boys doubled over and let out his lunch.

When the cause of the smell came into view, all conversation seemed to come to a halt in waves. The first ones signaled the start with a gasp and then complete silence until the entire company was staring in horror at the destruction below the hill. The colors Catra had been so enamored with gave way to gray, black, and brown. Craters dotted the land, some still smoldering with a bit of reddish pink glow at the bottom.

The sight of bodies made her connect them to the source of the smell, and she had to fight another gag when she realized that some of them weren’t whole.

When all the muttering stopped, it was like time had come to a halt. All of them were now seeing the true face of the war, the images and predictions they had fabricated within their imagination completely and utterly shattered. The only sounds were the shuffle and steps of their boots on the packed dirt, a whistle of wind through trees, the crackle of flame, and every so often a muffled or far off cry for help. Catra winced when she heard the first voice carry over, and turned her head away from the ruined field, opting instead to watch her feet.

The shift in mood stayed somber, even as they arrived at the campsite. There were some fires going, cooking some sort of gruel, and some quiet conversation. Moans of pain floated out of some of the tents, and Catra had to fight a visible reaction from showing. There was no time or place for softness anymore. They filed out and made their way to their previously assigned stations. She would be helping prepare the weapons and armor.

The first night was the hardest to get through, having to get used to the bland food, the sounds and smells wafting up and choking her senses.

The tenth or so night was a bit easier, but not by much. She and another soldier were making their way back to the camp, the third in their scouting party left behind. It was a hard choice, but all three of them knew that they were too far gone to make it. Catra herself was clutching at a wound on her arm, and her companion was limping with a bleeding leg.

They had run into one of the Horde’s own scouting parties, though theirs was much larger and much quieter. It was a miracle they did as well as they did, but Catra thought it might have something to do with the way some of the soldiers didn’t seem quite real. The way they moved was disjointed and unnatural, and she had whispered to the other two to go after the others first, which was a smart move in the end. The disjointed soldiers didn’t bleed but did stop moving after a quick burst of that same reddish pink electricity.

She supposed it might have something to do with this new technology and weaponry they’d heard about, but thinking too much on it made her stomach twist uncomfortably.

They were able to get patched up fairly easily, though Catra found she hated the feeling of the sticky blood and bandage clinging to her fur. It’d be a bitch to wash and scrub off later when she got the chance. If she got a later. She had to amend her own thought immediately and the implications of it made her nearly choke on the sudden burst of emotion. No time for that now.

After the debrief, she settled into an empty space with her spiced gruel and tried to forget the tragedy around her.

* * *

Adora had only stayed the one night helping the nurse tend to the injured soldiers. The burns were unlike any injury she’d seen before, not to mention the way some of them were just missing entire parts of their bodies. There was no word for the immediate horror and nausea she felt when she first saw some of the wounds up close.

When the sun started to rise, she was sitting with the nurse, Luella, and taking a break while some of the others began their shift.

“I’ll have to go back to the upper ring today.” Adora spoke quietly, not quite looking up at her. “I wish I could stay to help, but I’m sure they’ll be worried about me.”

Luella nodded, looking like she wanted to rest a hand on her shoulder, but hesitated and folded her hands in her lap. “You did more than we expected you to, and we are grateful for the help.”

Adora smiled a little and shook her head. “I’ll be sure to talk to someone about getting more volunteers or workers to help you. We can spare a small salary if needed.”

The nurse blinked in response, seemingly not expecting the kindness once more. As if all the rumors she’d heard about nobility weren’t true at all. Adora only smiled, finished the cup of tea, and handed the mug back to her. “Thank you for giving me the opportunity.”

Another surprised blink, but she dipped her head at the obvious farewell. “No, thank you, Lady Adora.”

* * *

In the Upper Ring, Adora was once again greeted with shock and worry. Hands on her face and shoulders while she was searched for any injuries made it hard to talk or move, so she mumbled out reassurances that she was fine. Glimmer stood off to the side, her eyebrows bunched towards the center in a way that told Adora she was both worried and angry. Angella finally pulled back without so much as a scolding remark. When she turned the corner, Adora looked towards Glimmer and shrugged.

“What’s up with mom?”

“It’s the second time in six months that you just skipped out. Worse now that people are dying.” Glimmer’s voice wasn’t harsh, just annoyed and matter-of-fact.

Adora’s shoulders sank. “Right. I’m sorry. There was just— I had to see for myself.”

“I get that, but there’s stuff going on here, too. You can’t just disappear because you want to be the hero, Adora.”

She sucked in a sharp breath and nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, I understand. Are you okay? What’s going on?”

“I’m okay.” Glimmer left it for a moment, chewing on the inside of her cheek. She moved closer and wrapped her arms around Adora, squeezing her close. “Please stop doing that, okay? It freaks me out.”

Adora inhaled slowly and returned the hug, a little shocked at the display of affection. It wasn’t abnormal, just sudden. “Yeah, of course. Of course. I’m okay, Glim. Seriously, what’s going on?”

Without pulling back, she mumbled her answer into Adora’s shoulder, “Dad’s leaving.”

“Wait, wait, leaving?!” Adora jerked back, much to Glimmer’s dismay. “What do you mean ‘leaving’?”

“He’s... going to fight. He thinks that he can help turn it around and gain back some ground.”

Adora’s relief only lasted a second before realization hit her. Flashes of the horrors she had just witnessed and tended to flashed in her mind’s eye. She was going to be sick. “When?”

“..they just headed out.”

Her stomach lurched and she wrenched away from Glimmer, thankful that they were outside. The steady hand on the small of her back and thick fingers pulling back the hair that had fallen out of her pony soothed the worst of it. When she stood back up, Glimmer only looked like she might vibrate out of her skin. The sparkles around her seemed to vibrate with her.

Adora reached for her hand and squeezed it tightly. “Don’t teleport.” It was meant to be reassuring.

“Garret went with him.”

“..oh.”

* * *

Sleep was not an easy thing to come by, but somehow Catra had dozed off right where she sat with her food half-finished. The peaceful few hours of rest were torn apart first by a low rumble of the ground. She lifted her head and stared at the dirt underneath her, palms down. There was a moment of confusion, then realization. She shot up to start warning the others only to be knocked backwards about five feet by a shockwave of magic, red and crackling through the air around them.

The blast of noise left a ringing in her ears, and the way her head hit the ground left a haziness around her vision. Not being able to see clearly made her work on her instincts. She scrambled up as soon as she was able, looking around for the nearest weapon. Another explosion rocked the ground, a ways off from her current position, and the high-pitched ringing saved her from the worst of the screams.

Soldiers in Horde uniforms and helmets emerged from the smoke and shadows, converging on the fighters that were still recovering from the surprise attack. Some went without a fight, too dazed, injured or afraid to fight back. Others gave it their all. Catra didn’t have time to assess the situation fully before a handful were on her. Some were without a doubt living beings, and she tried to use the same tactics from the scouting mission— hit them hard and fast, then focus on the other things.

The actual souls were easier. Easier to predict. Easier to counter. They got a few swipes and hits with their charged batons, making her teeth lock together as the crackling burn jolted through her system. One swung at her and she ducked, able to reach up and grab their arm and redirect the hit at another soldier. The results were immediate, and the thing crumbled to the ground with the same mini-shockwave of magic. Wrenching the weapon from the soldier, she shoved it against their neck and held.

By the time she finished fighting through them, she was covered in sweat and panting. The ringing in her ears had not subsided, but the other soldiers were trying to hold their ground. She had a job to do. They were losing badly and being swarmed, and Catra had a sinking feeling that this was it for her. Damn if she wouldn’t go down swinging, though. She helped take a few more of the weapons and hand them off to the other soldiers, demonstrating as she went, weaving and sliding through them. The explosions had taken out most of their camp, but with technology in their hands, maybe there was a chance to push back. It was a long shot, considering how badly they were surrounded, but she had to try.

Her breath was ragged and the sounds of battle, screams and clashing metal, were still muffled from the initial hits. There was no explaining what she could and couldn’t see or feel. The most she could feel was the pure chaotic energy of it all, the distress of trying to survive and make sure at least some of the people she knew did, too.

They were able to clear out bits and pieces of the outskirts of their side of the camp, and there was no break or rest as they charged forward to keep going and keep fighting until their last breath. With the electrified baton in hand, Catra didn’t think of herself or Kyle or anyone back in the orphanage. All that mattered was getting out and pushing the Horde back.

As they pushed forward through the chaos, she saw one of the higher ranking captains on the ground, scrambling to get to his feet and fight back against a group of soldiers. Their faces told her they were laughing at him, in the middle of all of this. There was something sinister about the look of joy on someone’s face while death surrounded them.

Snarling, she jumped on the larger one’s back, clawed feet digging into the armor, and shoved the end of the baton right into their temple. Whipping around, she handed the baton to the captain without a word and launched herself towards one of the others, now making full use of her claws to rip off the helmet and dig into their face and throat.

It wasn’t until the captain was pulling her back forcefully that she realized it wasn’t just one she mutilated, but a handful. Most of the rest that had the captain pinned down were crumbled in a pile either dead or groaning and clutching burn marks.

“We have to go!”

She snarled and gestured to the rest of them, to which the man shook his head.

“We’re retreating! It’s over. We lost.”

Catra stiffened and looked around them, and he was right. The surviving soldiers were just gathering what they could and running, fighting off what Horde soldiers were in their path. If she went back and tried harder, she was sure that she would lose her life. The captain seemed to notice her thinking and slung an arm over her shoulder, ready to force her away if she tried to run back.

Her shoulders hunched up and she fought the urge to shrug him off, letting herself be pulled away and towards safety.

* * *

Hours after the ambush, Catra finally felt the adrenaline die down and her hearing seemed relatively normal. There were no hushed whispers or murmurs, just a slow slog of walking through shaded grounds and hiding when they needed to rest. Her legs burned. Her torso felt like fire from the hits she’d taken, and blood that was both hers and not caked in her visible fur.

They had walked well into the morning hours and the sun was now high the sky. The journey to the campsite had been nearly a week from Bright Moon, and she briefly wondered if they would make it that far. If they were being chased. If the Horde meant to wipe out the camp completely. She felt like shse might be sick.

Stopping, she turn to a nearby bush and let out the contents of her stomach. It burned and she coughed and coughed until all that was left was the acidic taste. The captain from before clapped a hand on her back and held out a waterskin to her. She paused, but took it and poured some into her mouth without letting the rim touch her lips. A quick swish and spit, then a sip of the water to hopefully settle the churning.

“We have a long way to go, and we can’t stop to camp tonight. What’s your name?”

Catra nodded and got back into step with the others. There was no rank here, not if they were rubbing shoulders with the officers. “Catra. Yours?” Her throat was raw and scratchy, from both the sick and the screaming.

“Garret. I was a last minute addition to this excursion.” He seemed a little regretful at that, but didn’t look down at her, only ahead. “Thank you for what you did.”

“What I did?”

“You saved my life.”

She sucked in a sharp breath. It was true, she knew she was doing so at the time, but the realization had finally hit her. “Oh. Yeah, you’re welcome, I guess.”

Garret chuckled a little, but it was humorless and dry. “You followed your instincts. Protected your fellow man, regardless of higher rank, or I’m assuming, caring about them.”

She didn’t answer. But he was right. She didn’t care about him, but she knew at the time that it was the right and only thing to do. And she’d done so with a ferocity that surprised even her. He didn’t speak again for some time. Nothing was enough to distract from step after maddening step. Her legs shook with the effort.

“I’ll put in a good word for you once I get back to the Castle.”

Her head snapped up to him, “What does that mean? A good word?”

Another dry chuckle wafted through the air around them. “You’d be a good fit in the Brightguard. We lost more than half of ours in that battle, and we need more.”

“You’re going to have to explain a little more than that. Sir.” She added on as an afterthought, though her words were cautious and annoyed.

“The last minute addition I mentioned. It was me and quite a bit of the royal guard to protect the King. We had hoped that King Micah’s presence would have helped to turn the tide. It seems, unfortunately, that his magic wasn’t enough. And so, we were forced to retreat. Many of the royal guard died in the first wave, and more died protecting him. I was separated from them in the second blast. We need more talented and brave people protecting our nobility in this perilous time. You would make a good fit, so I’ll put a good word in when we return.”

Catra stared at him, disbelieving the entire time he spoke, and finally let out a loud laugh. She covered her mouth quickly so as to not alert or draw attention, but her shoulders shook with the effort. There, again, was no humor. Only a sick sense of disbelief and fear. The fear was a surprise to her, when she realized what it was spinning around in her veins, and putting a finger on why was hard. Maybe it was the leftover nerves and the battle finally hitting her, or maybe she was afraid of another uphill struggle to be seen. There would be time to unlock that later, if Garret was true to his word.

* * *

The next few weeks in the castle had everyone on edge. Angella was much more quiet and reclusive. She stayed in her study and only came out for dinner. She insisted on doing so to retain some semblance of normalcy in King Micah’s absence. With Bow around, Glimmer seemed to be doing relatively okay. Her quiet moments were still there, but he seemed to drag her out of it. Adora was grateful for both of them. Without Garret around, it meant she couldn’t throw herself into her training like usual. The books were there, but she’d read through and skimmed them all so many times by now that there was nothing new to learn.

They passed the time by playing old games they did when they were younger, exploring the castle and pretending that the world wasn’t falling apart around them. Glimmer had completely forgone her duties. So had Bow. So had Adora. Angella didn’t reprimand them for it, even though she knew. Instead, she told their servants to keep the peace for as long as possible until Micah returned. Once he did, things would return back to normal.

It was almost the beginning of the new month before they received any news that the soldiers were coming back home. The infantry were just crossing into the border of the lower ring, looked ragged but safe. Without any hesitation, Angella told the gatekeepers to allow all of them through to the upper ring so she could see Micah and his Brightguard immediately. The other soldiers were welcome, as well, as she was sure they needed a good rest and a hot meal.

Adora watched the relief flood through her mother’s face at the news, and felt a slight swelling of it herself. They all went to the castle gates to wait, Angella looking happier and more regal than she had in nearly a month. Glimmer was picture perfect beside her. Adora kept herself off to the side and sat on a bench while she waited.

Memories of the makeshift hospital had crept their way into her mind’s eye, and she wasn’t sure if she was mentally prepared to see that kind of destruction again. Even if the soldiers were victorious, she was sure that there was some injury.

When they arrived, though, the entire attitude seemed to shift. The gates opened slowly, and the first few filed in looking like they might collapse at any second. There was no leader at the front. There was no happiness or triumph on their faces, just exhaustion. Adora sat up completely rigid and watched as more came through. The first few noticed the Queen and immediately fell to their knees in a respectful bow despite how worn out they were.

Adora stood then, fighting the urge to go help them to her feet and refused to look up at her mother’s face. When they all finished filing in, there were much less than she anticipated and only one recognizable face. Without even a confirmation, her throat was already feeling like it might close up. Taking a shaky breath, she watched as her instructor, Garret, stood up and stepped forward.

He was dragging his feet and the circles under his eyes made him look almost undead. Adora tried to swallow against the lump in her throat again.

Garret moved forward and took Angella’s hands in his. His eyes were red-rimmed, like he had only just learned of the tragedy he was about to inflict upon them. His whispered apology was enough for the dam to break. Though Angella’s posture quivered, it held strong. The look on her face did not. A choked sob ripped through the silence and Glimmer’s gasp of pain felt like it was twisting Adora’s heart right out of her chest.

“I am sorry, my queen.” He repeated, his head ducked in reverence and shame. “We’ll make the preparations, immediately.”

There was no response, only another shaky, watery breath. She turned her head to the nearest capable guard. “King Micah is dead.” Her voice cracked on the last word, and Adora had plain view of the pure agony on her face. “Tell the others.”

* * *

Adora wasn’t used to funerals. In her life, she’d only been to one or two and they were distant family, more related to Glimmer than her. And even then, it was nothing like this. As the three of them walked out towards were the ceremony was being held, they were greeted by the sight of far more people than she’d ever seen in one place. There was no hum of voices overlapping over each other, but rather complete silence with some punctuations of sound ( a cough, or shuffling of feet ) here and there.

She wasn’t prepared for the color, either. The other funerals were somber with dark shades of clothing. She, Angella, and Glimmer wore the traditional shades of darker purple. The people in the front, the Brightguard and other nobles wore a richer, vibrant shade. As her gaze shifted to look back on the crowd, she noticed that it was a gradient of this rich purple to bright white, just like King Micah’s garb had been.

Behind them, hovering just above the ground was the Moonstone, one of the runestones that provided the power to Etheria. It glowed white and the actual stone shimmered as the sunlight hit it. More Brightguard stood in a circle around it, guarding it despite its unusual openness to the public.

Adora had to fight back tears at the sight of it all, unwilling to let herself shed them just yet. Her father was loved by more than just her family, and the citizens of Bright Moon were making that obvious. She stepped to the side and took her place with the crowd and watched as her mother stepped up to speak.

“Thank you all for this wonderful display. It is obvious that my husband was loved more than we knew.” She went on to give his eulogy, tone never wavering though tears began to streak down her cheeks. As she wrapped up the speech, she turned to Glimmer, who despite her best attempts to match her mother’s composure, was crying openly.

Adora ached for them. For herself.

She watched on as the body was brought out, covered in an elegant purple and pink cloth. The Moonstone’s glow intensified as they approached. There were no more words, only Angella and Glimmer both concentrating on the stone and the man between them. Glimmer’s sparkling energy was gentle and seemed to sprout from her back in wings, matching the actual wings that spread from Angella’s back. Between the two of them, it was a beautiful send off.

The sparkling energy moved to cover Micah and Angella wrapped her wings around all three of them. The stone’s glow brightened to the point where Adora had to squint and avert her gaze. When the glow subsided, the color was a pastel pink in contrast to its previous gentle white. It radiated a calming, joyous effect, just like Micah used to. It was then that Adora couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. With shaky breaths, she cried silently, even as her sister and mother turned to face the crowd once more.

They gestured for Adora to join them, so she did, and was immediately wrapped in a hug. She tried to not sob, and only allowed herself one soft gasp. Angella kissed the top of her head, squeezing both of them. Glimmer tried to hide her face. One last look and the three of them exit the area.

* * *

After the funeral, life had to go back to normal, or at least they had to pretend like it did. It was harder that his jovial face wasn’t at dinner or the sounds of his laughter were absent when Glimmer complained about her training. They were given a recovery period of a week before reports started coming back in from the war. The last battle had been the biggest gain for the Horde in years, and it was setting them all on edge. They weren’t advancing, though, instead building themselves a settlement right at the battleground.

It gave them some time.

Adora went back to training with Garret as much as he could with him still recovering. That meant the training usually just meant them sitting together in silence as she read or him watching her spar with other members of the guard.

“We’re going to be getting new Brightguard soon, aren’t we?”

Garret looked up from his reading with raised eyebrows. “In a day or two, I think we’re going to be swearing them in, yes. Why?”

“I was just wondering if I could go to the ceremony.”

“You hate ceremonies, Adora.”

She wrinkled her nose and nodded. “Yeah, I do, but it’ll still keep me busy.”

“Ah. Yes, of course. You may absolutely join me.” He smiled, though it held a sadness to it. Adora’s face twisted a little and she shifted uncomfortably.

“Anyone interesting?” She left off ‘like Bow’ and hoped it was implied.

Garret closed his book, set it aside, and turned to face her fully. “A few? The girl who saved my life will be part of the guard, though. I quite find her interesting, if a bit gruff.”

“How’d she save your life? You haven’t said.”

“I was surrounded by a few of the Horde soldiers, completely overpowered. She literally jumped on one of their backs and ripped their throat out. Threw me one of their weapons, and she was just… feral, with no regard for her own life. It was astonishing.”

Adora’s eyes progressively widened as he continued. “Claws?”

“Yes, she’s feline in nature.”

Her mouth formed an ‘o’ in surprise. The hybrids weren’t uncommon, not even in the Brightguard, but she’d never met someone with ‘claws’ or described as feline. The only two in the guard were more cervid than anything. “Kind of cool.”

Garret laughed, a sound that Adora had sorely missed, and nodded. “Yeah, it was kind of cool.”

* * *

This uniform was different than the one they had been given at the barracks in the middle ring. Catra stood alone in this room staring at the mirror, adjusting the jacket nervously. The white and gold made her orange tones stand out, and her dark mane of hair looked severely out of place. Even washing and brushing it didn’t do much to tame it down. Wrinkling her nose, she looked around for the tie she was given and stared at it in her hand, before putting it to use wrangling her wild hair. She hated every part of this. Hated the way she looked. Hated the way the cloth felt.

But she would do as she was told, if this was the hand life had given to her. She reached out of habit for her red headpiece and hesitated, with a glance back to the mirror. Her bangs framed her face, falling sloppily. She adjusted them and left the headpiece sitting there. The uniform itself wasn’t bad. It was just… it was hard to recognize herself. Looking in the mirror felt like looking at someone else with it on.

Any other time and she’d rip it off immediately but the swearing in ceremony was in a few hours. She had to turn around and look away from it when she started to flex her claws against the cloth. The room wasn’t bad, and they’d told her she’d be staying here. That it was hers now. The space looked too big, the bed too soft, the floors too clean compared to the orphanage and the barracks.

A knock on the door made her tense in response, but she quickly moved to open it. It was the captain from the battle. Garret. His face held a warm smile for her, but he made no move to come in.

“Adjusting okay?”

“Not really.” Her tone was lackluster, reflecting the look on her face. He only smiled wider.

“I know that feeling all too well. Come, come, it’s time to swear you and the others in.”

Catra’s mismatched eyes narrowed, though she moved out of the room without a second glance. The other new Brightguard were just as quiet and uncomfortable as she was. All she could think about was how excited Kyle would be to see the beauty of the palace up close. And she had to admit, it was an unmatched sort of beautiful. Her eyes were tuned to muddied colors and grime, so looking too directly made her flinch.

The others seemed to be sort of the same, when she bothered to glance around. A few were excited, for sure, and she didn’t blame them for that either. If this weren’t coming off of nearly dying, she’d probably be excited as well.

The rest of the Brightguard met them in the hall where the ceremony was supposed to take place. There was a brief introduction. She shook some hands. There was some small talk, but she didn’t participate much. The guards that had been here for a while seemed to understand that some of them weren’t quite adjusted or still shell-shocked from the quick turn-around.

She did overhear some stories about why the newer ones were being promoted, for lack of a better word, and it seemed she wasn’t alone in being rewarded for her instincts.

A brief overview on how the ceremony would go was delivered by Garret, and he excused himself quickly after. In his absence, another seasoned Brightguard member led them to where they’d sit until their name was called. He reiterated Garret’s instructions, and told them that the Queen would be swearing them in. Other nobles may or may not be present and the rest of them will be standing at attention down the hall. After the ceremony, they would break for a more casual dinner party.

Catra had absolutely no idea what the difference between a casual and formal dinner party was and, if she was being completely honest, didn’t quite understand what a dinner party was in the first place.

* * *

The ceremony itself wasn’t too bad, when it came down to it. The Queen gave a small speech, and the air in the room was still one of mourning. Sucked that she had to go back to politics so soon after, but then again, Catra didn’t know if that was how it always went or not. Before each person was called up for their insignia to be attached, the Queen gave a little information about why they’d received the position. “For their bravery, insight, drive, blah blah blah.”

By the time it was finished, they all stood at attention along the walls and were dismissed from the hall and told to reconvene in an hour’s time. The others decided to just go to the courtyard for some fresh air before their duties began again, and Catra joined them.

She needed the breath and time to calm down before whatever the hell a dinner party was. Sitting on one of the benches near the garden, she let herself slouch for the first time in what seemed like hours. Garret was nowhere to be found, so there was no semblance of a safety blanket there.

The quiet moment didn’t last long, though, before someone sat down next to her with a heavy sigh. Dark skin with his the sides of his head shaved, leaving the top to look more solid. He grinned at her and held out his hand. “Hey, I’m Bow!”

She blinked and shook the hand offered to her. “Catra.”

“What do you think of it?” He gestured around them, and Catra only raised an eyebrow in response. “The castle, the upper ring. A lot of us aren’t from around here. There are a few, but I’m not. I was a lower ringer when I was a kid.”

Catra let the moment linger for a beat, taking in a slow breath and letting out a sigh. “It’s… different. Pretty, sure. It’s just a little— It’s overwhelming.”

Bow’s smile subsided a bit, but he nodded. “Yeah, I getcha. It took me a month before it felt like home, but my friends helped with that.”

“Are they in the guard, then?”

“Nope! I mean, I have friends here, but Glimmer and Adora are great. Glimmer’s the princess. I mean… wait, Adora is too. Technically speaking.”

“You’re friends with the princesses?”

He gave a short nod, “That’s not the point, though. The point is actually, you know, it feels overwhelming and lonely and stuff, but there’s other people here going through the same thing. Or have been.”

“Are you going to give this same chin-up speech to all the new guys, then?”

“Oh, absolutely, I am! You’re the second.” His grin widened again and he gave a mock salute before standing up. And sure enough, he was making his way over to the next person standing alone and watching the view. Catra couldn’t help but shake her head and laugh.

* * *

The dinner party was actually more of a party than a dinner, Catra realized. She expected all of them to be seated at a long table with absolutely no conversation happening whatsoever. There was a long table of food laid out, with servants replacing empty dishes almost immediately. Some nobility mingled with them, getting to know the new guardspeople. Some servants with the night off were around, too. The atmosphere was much more relaxed than she expected, but that didn’t change the tension in her shoulders.

The guard from earlier, Bow, was talking to two girls. She assumed Glimmer and Adora, the princesses he mentioned. One had purple and pink attire and hair, and the other was blonde and wore red. Her eyes narrowed at them and made a mental note to avoid that whole mess entirely. Catra absolutely did not need to stumble over social graces her first night.

The food wasn’t bad, but she still had the urge to shove the breads in her pockets to hoard them for later. The rotating dishes, though, told her that starvation wouldn’t be a problem. With her third plate full, she made her way to one of the seats provided. On the way, she caught a glance of Garret. There was more temptation to go talk to him rather than Bow, but stopped herself when she saw the blonde princess talking to him.

They glanced over towards her, and Garret smiled and gestured her way. Oh fuck. Seriously?

There was no escape, then, as the blonde woman beelined her way up to her. She wore a bright smile, and up close there was no denying the determination in her eyes.

“You’re Catra, correct?”

Catra nodded dumbly, already regretting carrying this much food. If possible, the blonde’s smile widened.

“Oh, good! I’m Adora.”

Her ear flicked in response to the introduction, both unsure what to say and feeling cornered. There was no way for this Adora to tell her hackles were raised in anxiety, but her tail curled tightly around her waist, the tip flicking. She didn’t respond, only waited for her to continue. The silence made Adora’s smile falter, and she wiped her hands on her thighs.

“Right, I already know your name.”

Catra nodded again, unsure what to say. The silence here wasn’t comforting at all. It was awkward. The longer it went on, the higher Catra’s shoulders rose and the more Adora looked like this was a bad idea. At least, she assumed that’s what was going on in her head. She glanced back to Garret, rubbed her thighs again, and kept opening and closing her mouth.   
She furrowed her eyebrows together and swallowed. What was the proper way to address a princess again? Fuck. “Did you need something from me, Lady Adora?”

Adora looked up, eyebrows raised. “Oh! No, no, I just wanted to say that I—” She paused, and Catra straightened her back more, willing this night to end already. The princess glanced up at Catra’s flicking ears. “I like your ears.”

“What.”

“Th- that is not what I… but I do. They’re— That’s not what I wanted to say. Not at all. I’m sorry. Is that weird?”

Part of her wanted to cover her ears, and out of instinct she flattened them to the side a little more. Not to hide them, but more of her anxiety shining through.

“It’s fine.” Fuck, right. Formality. “Lady Adora.”

Adora bit at her lower lip and chewed for a few seconds, looking like she had just committed some great sin. It was weird, but Catra was used to people pointing out her obvious non-human features. Just not in a good light. This time when the princess spoke, she did so more deliberately.

“I meant to say thank you for saving my friend.”

“Garret’s your friend?” She wrinkled her nose. “Are you friends with every Brightguard?” The tone was a bit more snappy than she meant it to be. The look on Adora’s face was shock and a bit of hurt layered underneath. Catra made no move to apologize, only tensed further, readying herself for a blow or to be scolded.

Instead, Adora only smiled a bit tensely and gave her a small head nod. “I’ll leave you to your night, Catra.” And before she could apologize, Adora was already heading away from her, back straight and chin raised. She exuded an air of royalty, even without trying, and Catra was left wondering why that left such a bad taste in her mouth. 


	7. Chapter 7

The loss of King Micah meant a shift in the air around the castle. The day to day life stayed the same, as everyone had their duties to fulfill, but there was a lackluster attitude about it. No longer did the princesses look forward to winding down with dinner, as now it was a more somber and quiet affair. Catra was having a bit of trouble adjusting to her new life. She was always on edge, expecting danger more often than not. Most of the time, however, she’d just be standing outside doors while the higher class folk did their discussions. 

When they exited, she was to keep her eyes straight ahead or focused on their surroundings and not on the people themselves. It was hard to not get distracted by the sight of the blonde princess, though, not when she was looking at her more often than not. That was usually followed by a glance to the much shorter one, who met her gaze with narrowed eyes. There was suspicion in Glimmer’s eyes and a curiosity in Adora’s. Catra hated both expressions. 

She also had to get used to a lot more days off than she realized she would get. With the new recruits, she was able to have some free time in between her duties and new classes. Free time was almost unheard of in the lower rings, and especially so when she was training. It meant that in the castle she was either napping, eating, or avoiding any sort of confrontation or small talk possible. Trying to find a place where she fit in was difficult, to say the least. 

The classes would have been better if they were focused on fighting techniques or something interesting, but it was mostly about how to hold a fork the right way in front of the nobles or which spoon to use or the proper titles for each rank of noble. It made her head hurt by the end of the hour, and she welcomed the monotony of standing guard outside of a door. 

The history and culture lessons were at least attention grabbing, even if Catra tuned most of it out save for a few bits here and there that were interesting. Magical creatures, the runestones. Those were the good bits. Lineage of the royal family? No thanks. 

She’d thought she’d seen the worst of the worst, then, but it was Garret who delivered the soul-crushing blow. Maybe she would have handled it better if it hadn’t come off of the heels of an already very boring lesson. He’d clapped a hand on her back as she was walking down the hall to head to her post and matched her pace. 

“Catra! Afternoon. How goes it?” 

“It goes.” 

He chuckled. “Well, good, then. I’ve got some good news for you.” 

She squinted up at him, but gave no response. He barrelled on. 

“Your dance classes start bright and early in the morning. Crack of dawn.” 

“...my what?” 

“I’m not going to be teaching you myself, but you’ll have another of the higher ranking officers overseeing you. Margot’s pretty good at what she does, if a little rough around the edges. Some of the others have already been through their week of it. Just gotta know the basics.” 

“Garret. Did you say  _ dance classes _ ?”

He seemed to notice the way her shoulders tensed up then, and gave her another clap on the back and a big grin. “Yep! It’ll be fine. You just need to know the basics for our formals and galas and the like.”

Before she had a chance to respond, he was already off, swiveling on his heel and heading back the way they’d come. She stopped and stared after him for a second, blinking rapidly. She didn’t know the first thing about dancing. The very idea of it made her hackles rise in anxiety. And now it was a  _ requirement _ for formal outings or whatever the hell— She took a deep breath and made her way back to her post and prayed that Adora wouldn’t be around to make her even more nervous. 

* * *

The next morning meant another early rise, and another splash of cold water to her face to hopefully wash away the restless sleep from the night before. Since even before the funeral, Adora hadn’t been able to sleep well. Either it was riddled with nightmares of the injuries and damage she had seen, her visions from the three women, or she tossed and turned thinking of the burden on her. That feeling of the world weighing on her shoulders worsened after the king’s death. And the heaviness quickly became laden with guilt. She lay awake, staring at her ceiling and wondering if she would have been able to prevent it if she had just pushed herself further. If she had been able to maintain She-ra’s form. 

The mornings were either her dragging herself out of bed to push herself harder and harder, or to lay for a few minutes to continue to obsess over what she could have done. Logically, she knew there was nothing. But that didn’t stop her brain from developing scenario after scenario and looping it on repeat through her head all night. The days were a little easier, if she wore herself out and focused intensely on training. Garret couldn’t help as much lately, not with his recovery and dealing with the new Brightguard. But still, she pushed on and pushed on.

On the subject of new Brightguard, however, there were moments where her brain did seem to quiet, at least on that subject, even without the overexertion. Catching glimpses of Catra, made her thoughts switch from an all-consuming overwhelming guilt and fear to more of a light buzz of curiosity. After making a right fool of herself with their introduction, and completely misreading the situation to the point where she had snapped, she was sure that the girl wanted nothing to do with her. She’d heard from Garret that she was originally a middle-ringer, like herself, and even stayed at the orphanage that she had lived at for a year or so before being adopted. 

But no one knew that story, except for their family. So bitterness at that was ruled out. Maybe it was that she just had a distaste for nobility in general? Or this life seemed a little more cushy and easy than she was used to and it put her on edge? 

Curiosity, you see. 

That morning was a drag herself out of bed one, and she took a moment to stretch and do some poses to limber up. Once her body was more awake, she dropped down and began her bodyweight routine before heading out to the courtyard to train with the sword. By the time she finished, her muscles ached enough for it to take her mind off of wishes and could-have-beens. 

Garret wasn’t there again that morning, so she just summoned the sword and began to do basics with the training dummies they had set up. Once the basics were covered, she began to try and focus on channeling She-ra’s power once more. It was more exhausting than the actual sword swinging. There was no breakthrough this time, though she did feel the warm glow of her power closer than before. It seemed the more she worked and harder she tried, the more she felt as though she could reach out and grasp it. Before, there was a vast emptiness. 

It didn’t feel like long before she was interrupted by Glimmer. Adora gave her an easy smile and dismissed the sword, rubbing at some of the sweat on her brow. 

“Lunch already?”

“Yeah, you’ve been going pretty hard all morning.” She glanced up to point at the sky, and Adora sucked in a breath. Yep, definitely going for much longer than she realized. “And you skipped breakfast. Which is cause for worry anyday.” 

Adora huffed, and touched her stomach, which decided that now would be an appropriate time to gurgle. The hunger pangs didn’t even register while she was meditating. “Huh. I didn’t even realize. I was so focused on getting out here..”

“You always are, that’s nothin’ new. C’mon, let’s grab a bite.” She shifted a little, something off on her features that Adora couldn’t quite place. “And I wanna talk to you about something on my mind.” 

“Sure, everything okay?”

“Yeah! Yeah. Of course. I just… need to talk to someone about it. Why not my best friend slash sister?” 

Adora smiled and finished cleaning up her mess. “You know I’ll always listen. Advice I’m pretty crappy with, but I can try. Also! Do you mind if I wash up first? I’m gross.” 

Glimmer wrinkled her nose in fake disgust, and waved her hand around like the stench was wafting up. “Ew, please do.” 

“Stop or I’ll hug you.”

“Don’t you dare.”

“I dare.” She opened her arms and made a dash for her, but Glimmer just teleported behind her. Adora stumbled a little and winced at the ache in her muscles. “Oh, that’s so not fair!” 

She was met with a laugh, “I will not be tainted by your sweat, legendary warrior or not. Gross.” 

They parted ways, Adora off to get cleaned up from her session, and Glimmer to go grab some food and take it upstairs in one of the empty, open meeting rooms. Though it didn’t take long, Adora’s shower was mostly spent letting her body soak in the heat and high water pressure. Her mind wandered, like it tended to do and she kept coming back to Micah or Catra. Once was painful and the other made her cheeks burn red. 

She had to stop  _ thinking _ so much. Just let go, Adora. Just.. take it easy. That’s what Bow would say. Garret would just give her a sad smile and tell her things would be alright. Glimmer would do exactly what she’s doing now. Pull her away, give her food. Maybe talk about something completely different.

She shrugged on some comfortable clothes and made her way up to the room and plopped onto the table, where Glimmer was already sitting. She’d grabbed some sandwich stuff from the kitchens, and a few of the flaky sweet pastries that Adora liked so much. She wasted no time in shoving the sandwich ( and then two more ) in her mouth. While Adora was focused on eating, Glimmer lay back on the table and heaved out a sigh. 

Halfway through her third sandwich, Adora looked over and tilted her head, not wanting to talk with her mouth full. Glimmer took the hint. 

“So, you know Bow?”

Adora’s smile wiped off her face and she just gave her a look that said, ‘no, really?’. Glimmer shifted nervously. 

“Bad start, sorry. Okay. Of course you know Bow, that was dumb. Anyways.” She fidgeted around a little more, long enough for Adora to finish devouring her sandwich and move onto the pastries. “I’ve had a crush on him for like.. A really long time. Since way before he started to change his name to Bow.” 

Adora nodded, a little dumbstruck that she hadn’t caught on to Glimmer’s feelings. But that didn’t seem to surprise Glimmer in the slightest. Everyone knew she wasn’t the most perceptive when it came to those things, even if she did try. She also remembered when Bow changed his name, too. It was a bit of an adjustment, but everyone around him supported him. The Brightguard, and Garret, were especially kind during the transitional period. 

She remembered Garret and Bow relating to each other heavily during that time, as well. She swallowed her pastry and wiped some of the crumbs off of her face. “That’s been a while, Glim. Why haven’t you said anything?” 

“That’s the thing. I really like how good we are as friends.”

“But?” 

“But I really want to hold his hand and actually kiss him with feelings.” She squirmed under Adora’s gaze, and when Adora laughed, she blushed heavily. “Stop!” 

“No! No, I’m not being mean, I swear. It’s just… you guys are super touchy-feely anyways.”

“Yeah, but he’s like that with everyone, so I don’t think it’s like that for him. And! What if I tell him and he doesn’t feel the same and it gets all awkward and I just lost my best friend for it?” 

“Glim, I don’t think Bow would ever do that. Even if he didn’t have feelings back, he’d treat you exactly the same.” 

There was a pause and Glimmer squirmed again. “No, I know. He’s a great guy.” Another pause, and Adora chewed on the last bit of pastry while she waited. “The thing is, I don’t know if  _ I _ could handle being treated the exact same.” 

“Oh. Huh, yeah.” 

“Yeah.” 

Another break in conversation while they both finished up the rest of the pastries. “Okay, so! Here’s my thoughts on it: I think you should at least start to talk to him about it when he has some free time. You’re just gonna wallow in it and things’ll get weird anyways if you don’t say something. Like you said, he’s a good guy. He’ll understand if you need some time.” 

“I thought you said you weren’t good at advice?” 

“Was that good advice?” She gave her a big grin, only to get kicked lightly in the shins. “Let me know how it goes, though, because if it works out, it’s gonna be awesome.” 

“You know I will.” They laid there for some time, chatting quietly about other things. Anything but the world around them. About the new Brightguard. About heading down to the market to just browse. Anything but the war. Anything but Micah. It worked, too. By the end of the conversation, she felt much better. Lighter. And it looked like Glimmer did, too. 

She slid off of the table with a stretch and helped Glimmer up. “I’m gonna head to the library and get something to read that’s not a history book. Wanna come with?”

“Yeah, sure, I could use something for when I’m not dealing with all the politics.” 

“We should trade sometime.”

“Yeah, absolutely. Let me fight something for once and I’ll get a kick out of you trying to negotiate a better trade deal with Perfuma.” 

“Nope, changed my mind.” 

* * *

Catra wasn’t sure if the dancing lesson was better or worse than she expected. Margot was, as warned, a little rough around the edges, but she knew what she was doing. Every time her stance or posture was even the littlest bit out of line, she smacked her lightly on the shoulder and adjusted her. It wasn’t enough to hurt, but Catra flinched each time out of humiliation. She also had an accent that Catra couldn’t quite place. It wasn’t from anywhere around Bright Moon or anything that she’d heard from the Horde soldiers. It made things a little harder to follow. 

The first question she was asked upon walking in was if she would prefer to lead or not. She had no fucking clue. And said as much. After a few rounds of trying to teach both, Catra learned that she definitely didn’t want to lead. It was much easier for her hands and felt natural that she be lead around. But that also meant she needed to get her footwork down better and more in sync with the instructor ( or whoever else she’d be dancing with? ). But she also needed to learn both, just in case.

It’d been two hours of non stop instruction, and she felt like she had made some progress in it. So when the break came, she followed suit in grabbing a bite to eat and stretching before continuing again. They sat in silence for the most part, the hard line in Margot’s features never softening, even as she seemed to be content and relaxed. Catra was grateful for the silence, and not having the obligation to speak or keep up any formalities. 

When Margot stood to continue, she followed suit, ready to get this over with and also, possibly, get a little bit of validation at being semi-good at something out of it. Her posture needed a little bit of adjusting, but she did so without the instructor’s help. That earned her a small smile and a nod. And they began their dance again. After one particular twirl and step placement, her face was turned towards the open door. 

Adora and Glimmer stood outside, watching the display. There was no telling how long they’d been standing there. If they had seen the whole dance or just the twirl. Taken out of it, her next few steps were a stumble, and she nearly fell from tripping over her own feet. Catra’s face burned in embarrassment, and she tried to wrench away from the instructor to stomp off and recover. 

“You will stop. From the beginning, Catra.” Her name sounded so odd and foreign in Margot’s accent. The fur on her tail stood on end, lips ready to pull back into a snarl. With her ears flattened against her head, she almost tried again, but the look on her instructor’s face, hard and unchanging, made her shrink back down again. “Do not pay attention to the princesses.” Her voice was quieter, and she pulled her back into form. 

Catra glanced back up to see both girls still standing out in the hall, watching her display. Shame creeped up her spine. But Adora caught her eye, this time. The blush on her features was easy to see, bright pink dusting over pale skin. Catra narrowed her eyes, even as Adora smiled sheepishly. The display made her stomach twist uncomfortably, though she knew there was nothing there to even make her feel this  _ weird _ about it all. 

But she didn’t back down, instead maintaining her gaze while Adora’s blush only deepened. She watched as Adora finally averted her gaze, at Glimmer’s urging and she took her hand and dragged her down the hall. Hopefully further away. Still, that odd twisting in her gut made it hard to focus on the lesson at all. Which meant her progress was halted until the next day. 

When the lesson finish, she grabbed her things and stomped off to her room before her next shift. Everything about this was ridiculous. There was just so much she didn’t understand here at Bright Moon that every moment, movement, action felt like a swirling pit of confusion. 

Who was she in this world? Down in the lower rings, she knew who she was. Scrappy. Angry. Vicious. She was the one always getting into trouble, always doing shit so the others in the orphanage didn’t have to. Here in the upper ring, she felt like an outsider. Someone who conned their way into these pretty white linens and clean floors. And she was damn sure that that’s what the princess saw when she looked at her. Adora  _ had _ to see the way she used to scrub at her face with dirty water in hopes to be at least a little presentable before raiding the markets. She  _ had _ to see right through the layer of cleanliness and proper posture. She  _ had to _ be judging her. Everyone knew how much she didn’t belong. The ears comment must have been some pointed joke that she didn’t get until now. Royals, nobles. They were all the same. Proper bitches, the lot of them.

In her room, she grabbed the pillow from her bed and chucked it against the wall with a growl. What was the point of all this luxury if it was all going to be destroyed anyways? The Horde hadn’t advanced yet but that didn’t mean they weren’t going to. Why the hell was she in dance lessons while she was  _ sure _ her friends were out there dying? Sinking to the floor, with her back against the bed, Catra curled in on herself and fought against the heat in her eyes and the lump in her throat. 

This world wasn’t fair. She knew that. Taking a deep breath, she rubbed at her eyes to wipe away unshed tears, stood, and adjusted her uniform. She was expected to stand guard outside that evening. Some fresh air would do her good. 

* * *

Halfway through her shift, when the sun was just beginning to set and the sky was a vivid display of oranges, pinks, and purples, Catra thought she’d had it home free. What she didn’t expect was to see a figure moving silently through the garden. Her hackles raised, she snapped to attention to follow the figure. If they knew what was good for them, they would just leave. And really, she had no idea what to do or expect. The other guardsperson on duty had gone to the kitchens for the moment, and was taking far too long to get back. 

“Hey!” Fuck it, might as well just be herself, right? “What do you think you’re doing?!”

The figure froze almost immediately. For a second, she thought it might bolt, and the longer time passed the more she was sure that they didn’t belong out here. She took a step forward, and she saw the figure slowly move closer out in the moonlight. Giving a slight hiss, she took two steps backwards. As much as she wanted to snap and snarl, she didn’t, and instead fixed her posture and swallowed all emotion. 

“Lady Adora.” It was curt, but she still dipped her head out of respect. “My apologies.” When she looked back up, the princess seemed sheepish. A surge of heat radiated from her chest, and she tried her best to stamp it down. 

“You were just doing your job.”

Her fingers curled tightly into the fabric of her bottoms. “Yes, my lady.” 

“You don’t have to do that.” Catra opened her mouth, but shook her head and looked away without a word. Which only meant Adora continued. “I’m.. I couldn’t sleep, so I’m going to go train until I can’t think.”

Catra nodded, unsure whether to follow orders or protocol. In the corner of her eye, she could see Adora shifted her weight and hugging one of her arms around her torso. 

“Are you out here by yourself?” 

“For the moment..” She was still unsure whether or not she should be addressing her by a title still. Adora seemed to relax a little when she  _ didn’t _ use it.

“That makes things a little easier. Are you here until morning?” 

“Yes.” She looked up, at the sky, and took a moment to think about it. “Until just before dawn.” 

Adora smiled a little, and Catra kept her face carefully even. “Oh, good! Can you move from here to over.. She pointed down the way, where some training dummies were. “There? Until your shift is over?” 

Catra sucked in a sharp breath, bracing herself against the surge of emotions ( anger, shame, confusion, pain ) that threatened to rise up from where she’d tamped them down. She took a moment to gather herself, already feeling that this was just some ploy to use her or have fuel to talk about how different she was with the others who did belong here. Voice shaking with the effort, “I apologize, Lady Adora. This was my assignment. I’ll make sure no one comes to bother you.” 

There was a little moment of quiet, and Catra could see the confusion on Adora’s features. She wasn’t particularly good at hiding away those parts of herself, apparently. 

“Oh.” She seemed to think for a moment, then continued. “That’s okay! And thank you. I’ll see you before I head back to bed.” 

“Of course, my lady.” Catra nodded and shifted her gaze again, hoping that Adora would take the hint that this conversation was either over or going nowhere. She did, but not without some more awkward shuffling and a small smile. The shift passed quickly, thankfully, the sound of a sword hitting wood ringing away in the night air. When Adora passed by to go back to bed, she assumed, she gave her a little wave and smile. 


End file.
